Here’s a handy guide to the new trailers released the last few days.
Vanishing on 7th Street (above)
Brad Anderson’s Vanishing on 7th Street is set to play at the Toronto Film Festival as part of their midnight madness program. It stars Hayden Christensen so it’ll probably be really good.
Upon waking to find the city they live in devoid of human life, a group of survivors seek refuge in an old bar to protect themselves from a dark threat.
I call it “28 Wanks Later.” [via /Film]
Love and Other Drugs (below)
We saw the first trailer for Edward Zwick’s rom-com starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway, and Not Jonah Hill a few days ago, and it looked like just about the most generic rom-com ever. The latest trailer shows us that it’s more than a generic rom-com, it’s a film about a girl with Parkinson’s disease, and Jake Gyllenhaal can’t save her because he only sells boner pills ;-(
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night
Brandon Routh stars in a film from the director of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as “a private detective fighting to keep order between the world of vampires, werewolves, and zombies.” What’s that? No, Steve, I think it’s a great idea, but seriously, are my f*cking curly fries ready yet?
Okay, so this one’s actually supposed to be decent. Gareth Edward’s film about a space probe that breaks up over Mexico has been picking up positive word of mouth on the festival circuit and opens in limited release in October. People have been calling it this year’s District 9 (though I’m not sure if the comparison goes further than ‘foreigners + aliens’). But the truth is, if real monsters ever showed up in Mexico, no one would believe them after all their chupacabra bullsh*t. [trailer via Apple, Embed from FirstShowing]
My Soul to Take
Finally, we have Wes Craven’s latest film, available in glorious, queef-expelling 3D. A killer in Riverton Massachusetts died 16 years ago vowing to return, and now seven teens born on the night he died must face the possibility that they might be his reincarnated soul blah blah blah nu metal wank motion GO SAWX. Hey, a reincarnation movie with a title from a Christian children’s prayer? My Guatemalan house keeper just shook her head and lit another Virgen candle.
I want more like this!
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