E! News today reports that Michael Douglas, next set to star as Shia LaBeouf’s father in law in Wall Street 2: Step Up to Tha $treetz (which opens next month), has been diagnosed with throat cancer. It doesn’t sound life threatening, but then I’m not a doctor. I use this stethoscope to amplify farts.
According to publicist Allen Burry, Douglas will undergo eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy.
No word whether the lump in his throat is benign or malignant, but doctors have given Douglas an excellent prognosis and expect he’ll make a full recovery.
E! News naturally took this occasion as the perfect opportunity for a sh*tty pun. Their lead paragraph:
Michael Douglas’ most basic instinct right now is staying healthy.
Nicely done, E. Stay classy. We here at FilmDrunk also wish this Wonder Boy a speedy recovery. We hope he gets to his treatments on time and that there isn’t Traffic, because this is cancer, it’s not The Game. Full Disclosure: my uncle had a throat tumor, but the Solitary Man ended up Falling Down when the cancer became a Fatal Attraction. But Don’t Say a Word.