Remember Montana Fishburne’s co-star in her first adult movie? You know, the one they filmed before her contract with Vivid was announced? His name is Brian Pumper and he’s an aspiring rapper. In addition to his Jay-Z diss song, he also provided the titular rhymes in Phatties, Rhymes, and Dimes 14. (Heh, “titular.”) Well, let me be the first to tell you that MOTHER OF GOD, THE LYRICS ARE INCREDIBLE.
(However, they’re probably too explicit for the main page, so join me below for the fun.)
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I don’t want this story to get me in any more trouble than it already has, so I’m not linking the source for this. But let’s just say that if one went to a highly NSFW site that whose name rhymes with “Schmorn Hub”, and one searched for “Chippy D (Montana Fishburne)”, the only search result would be the video in question. That video. 2:30 mark. These lyrics. I swear I’m not making this up.
“Let me lick it from the back, with ya back arched. Let me get that monkey fufu (?) wet and make it fart.”
Ummmm…. Did he just refer to a woman’s genitals as a “monkey fufu?” And is he saying that he would inject it with flatulence? In case there was any doubt, here’s the next line.
“Make it drive, make it queef, make that thing fart. Make it squirt, make it burp, girl I’m off the charts.”
Wow. I’m nearly speechless. Let’s see Tennyson find a rhyme for “queef.”
[Thanks to the incomparable Joe King for discovering this]
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Those that can, do. Those that can’t, rap about it.
Lince, your Romulan ploy to get Him to listen to “urban rhymed beat poetry”, or “rap”, will not be successful.
a highly NSFW site that whose name rhymes with “Schmorn Hub”
Corn Rub? Sorry Vince, I’m not into feet.
Sooooo… what the fuck is wrong with her
noseass?I find the most erotic part of the woman is the monkey fufu.
This is definitely the rap of a man who has had sex with a can of Floam.
Montana Fishburne’s ass looks like Seal’s face.
Wow. I’m nearly speechless. Let’s see Tennyson find a rhyme for “queef.”
At the pinnacle of belief lies the queef.
Kanye: “Yo, yo, I’mma let you finish making this bitch’s monkey fufu wet, but Lex Steele had the dopest pussy eatin’ video of the year, homie!!”
I saw a donkey fufu show in Tijuana once.
I think I got bad peyote at the Montana Phish Burn
The only way to make a monkey fufu fart is with macaque.
Her ass looks like footage from the Mars rover.
Rip that cunt up make you queef bleedin like you stepped on coral reef I’m the butcher pounding ground beef shoutin louder than Ryan Leaf
Bubb, how did you know that my porn name is Mars Rover?
Make it drive, make it queef, make that thing fart. Make it squirt, make it burp, girl I’m off the charts.
I hate the new Bop It.
I prefer Norwegian porn with my man Leif Blower
Connecting the dots on her ass makes a unicorn. Do I win a prize?
Jack, it’s just the logical progression of a
warpedsicksociopathicbeautiful mind.*Does the Sam Elliot hat brim tap/wink, slides piss boot down the bar*
Her ass has more Poks than a Thai phone book!!
I’m disappointed in Montana Fishburn. I was hoping her first major role would be in Asspocalypse Now.
A desperate lonely blind man wouldn’t fuck her doggystyle cause he’s just not a big reader
Lawrence Fishburne, Gene Leonhardt just called to remind you that he TOLD you “consequences would never be the same. You dun goofed.”
When reached for comment, Lil’ Bunny Fufu said “What. In. The. Fuck.”
@Donk
Damn you for beating me to the Macaque punchline. Touche!
This is off his new album “I’ma Make That Pussy Shart”
Just kidding. My porn name is Miles Long.
My porn name is “Is that a fucking camera hidden under that pile of dirty laundry?”
You should hear the ladies scream it.
My porn name is Dookie Shithauser.
Dingus, if you want to get on macaque, you’ve got to be quick.
@Donk
Quick is my middle name… well, actually it’s Percy, but you get my point (pun intended).
I banged a chick with a monkey fufu last weekend. Man, was I gibbon it to her good.
2 Girls, 1 Cup Pumper! …and that’s all I got to say about that.
I think that’s actually a Queen LaQueefa song.
Get it, cuz Gene Leonhardt is the cyber police and Fishburne was Morpheus!
I like to refer to my monkey fufu as ‘boontang.
Lil monkey fufu
No-one wants to see you
Slurping on the ninjas
Givin them some head
You should hear him scat about monkey pupu.
Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Magnus McMegacrotch, Ma’am, and I am at your cervix.
I don’t know if Lawrence Fishburne is a good guy or not, but holy shit do I feel bad for him. It’s bad enough his daughter is shooting porn willingly to advance her career (what the hell happened to nepotism?) but to have some guy rap about her pussy and do it that poorly? Brutal.
Ghostface Killah should have ghost written it for him, that man knows how to rhyme about genitalia.
Man, that is one nasty, spotty-assed hood rat.
Worst porno ever.
After hearing said rap Brian’s father called him a disgrace to the Pumper name
In poetry truly lies the promise of fragile humanity…
In terms of unspeakably bad rap bullshit this ranks up there with Arab: [www.youtube.com]
Do they call her “Chippy D” because her ass is covered in what appears to be chocolate chips? Baby got bacne!
I’ve heard of Little Bunny Fufu.. but Monkey Fufu?? That’s just absurd!!
Damn, she needs some Acutane for her ass. I think the oil they were rubbing on her butt must have been Clearasil.
“Awrite baby, now just rub it on yo’ self like dat…aw hell yeah girl. Now do that every night befo’ you sleep and think of me. No but seriously…apply this daily PLEASE!”