(Julia Roberts sits down for tea with one of the lesser-known Kardashian sisters, Kurry)
With The Dependables and Michael Cera’s Lesbian Hair Affair opening this weekend, I worry that a fine, life-affirming drama like Eat, Pray, Love might slip through the cracks, like so much moist queef air. I posted Jim Norton’s review yesterday (“she falls in love with the smell of garbage”), but even that didn’t seem to build anyone’s enthusiasm. Well, what if I told you the movie was so powerful that it caused a Hollywood actress to adopt an Eastern religion? That’s right, who’s laughing now? This is unprecedented.
In her September Elle magazine cover story, Roberts anounces that since her film-making sojourn in India, she and her family now worship as Hindus and go together to a temple to “chant and pray and celebrate. I’m definitely a practicing Hindu.”
Roberts, who was brought up Christian, has already named her production company Red Om Films,” drawing on the mystical syllable Hindus say encompasses the universe. [USA Today]
I wonder if Hindus worry that their status as one of the world’s least-annoying religions will be jeopardized by its association to famous actors. No one wants to be the next Kabbalah. But you have to admit at least this much: a six-limbed elephant God is way more awesome than anything the other religions have, unless you count Scientology, and no one does. Speaking of six-limbed elephant gods, I wonder if Japan has ever produced any Ganesh porn. Seems right up their alley.
In a related story, Nicolas Cage now believes he’s a sorcerer.
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Julia Roberts is a HinDERRRPPPPP Now.
Fixed.
Feklahr, who was brought up Kahlessian, has already named His production company “Red Rum Films”, drawing on the mystical power of alcohol and violence.
Occasionally I hear stories about how Johnny Depp is a stand up guy and reconsider my stereotypical view of all actors being devoid of logic and comprehension of the outside world. Then occasionally something wonderful like this pops up to snap me out of that nightmare.
Eat, Pray, Love
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a six-limbed elephant God is way more awesome than anything the other religions have
Part of me wants to tell you to go fuck yourself, but when you’re right, you’re right.
Julia Roberts (and her brother, for that matter) must have eaten a lot of paint chips as a kid. If she were any more retarded she could be declared legally dead in seven states.
Some Hindus retire from the public world and spend the rest of their lives in a monastery in quiet contemplation and the pursuit of spiritual perfection.
*crosses fingers, dares to dream*
She now considers herself a sacred cow.
She’s considered sacred in Hinduism. Because of her cow teeth.
I don’t know the Hindu ranks of reincarnation. What’s lower than a cunt?
I’d pray for Mola Ram to swing by and work his magic on her, but there’s not much he can do about this heartless bitch.
DH, Twilight Cat Lady?
I never saw a Julia Roberts movie i didn’t hate.
/thought I’d check her imdb profile to see if there was something she’d been in – that I’d seen – which wasn’t arse gravy and remembered The Player. Oddly enough imdb doesn’t list her appearance in this. In conclusion, what a twatbasket.
I just can’t understand what it is about Christianity that turns Hollywood off?
Is it the Jews? Can’t be.
Is it “the meek shall inherit the Earth”, rejection of personal wealth and adherence to celibacy? Bingo.
In related news, 900 million Indians changed their religion to “Hindon’t”.
Also, my dick hurts.
Jirish, the answer is “a knee”.
C’mon now Fek! We all know that enough C batteries to power Canada is currently being held hostage in the nightshelf drawer beneath the Armada in V.C.
The good news is that it’s only a matter of time before she accidentally prays to Heidi Klum on a Halloween.
I’m not sure if Steven Seagal is really rocking the beard in the banner pic but every time Vince Vaughn appears, a kitten gets tickled.
Revised list of fuckable Kardashians, from ‘most’ to ‘least’: Kim, Kourtney, Kurry, Hagrid.
She doesn’t have a red dot on her forehead. We could temporarily remedy that if someone has a gun with a laser sight.
I haven’t seen any Ganesha porn out of Japan, but he does have his own book/cartoon/movie where he’s an Aladdin style genie who makes dreams come true by way of sage advice.
[bit.ly]
Maybe I should read more about her new spiritual ties before judging, but this quote (and the sheer context of her declaration) makes her sound like such a superficial idiot. Simply because a celebrity uses their infinite resources to see countless cultures throughout the world does not, IMHO, give them clearance to declare themselves a member to one. Simply chanting and having a brief familiarity with the general principles of Hinduism also does not necessarily qualify you as a “practicing Hindu.” Especially with all these western twists put on Hinduism and Buddhism, turning Yoga into simply stretching in quiet or meditation into self-satisfactory bullshit.
Good for her if she really found something. But refrain from calling yourself a practicing Hindu. No Hindi would ever say that. They do not even have the term “Hindu.” There’s no such thing. It’s just a wide variety of eclectic beliefs which Westerns have pinned under the single convenient term, Hinduism. It’s infinitely better than Scientology, but I cannot help feeling completely cynical when I see one of the richest, most decadent women in the world declare herself a member to a spirituality that completely conflicts with a celebrity lifestyle. The size of her house alone should bar her from ever picking even picking up the Baghivad Gita.
Maybe she’ll get a real job as a dentist now?
@Gibbles
Fyi: Heinrich Himmler carried the Baghavad Gita in his pocket with him at all times (even when he shat). I, for whatever reason (possibly due to my deep-seated, profound and savage inclination toward anti-Semitism) have no qualms with that. Give Julia a chance. Maybe she’ll surprise you and finish off those Jew bastards once and for all.
(*shoos Jewish protestors off of lawn with broom*)
@Dingus
Fyi: Heinrich Himmler jokes are always in poor taste.
Julia Roberts is one of those Hollywood stars seemingly going through child star syndrome, albeit a little late. They do random things you don’t understand, let acting fall below ‘wiping after a shit’ on the priority list, and make ridiculous claims. Just for good measure I think she should fuck David Spade. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, DOES IT? Exactly.
I wanna see her Om face.