Last we heard from filthy-rich filmmaker James Cameron, he was using his new Titanium driver to hit California Condor eggs off the bare breast of Miss Slovenia on the deck of his luxury hovercraft. Somehow, he still found time to talk to Vanity Fair. They asked Cameron, whose directorial debut was on Piranha 2: The Swarm, about Piranha 3D. As you’ll see below, the always-candid Cameron was candid as always. Then he lit his bong with a $1000 bill and crank called the president.
Was there any sense of nostalgia when the Piranha movie came out last weekend?
Zero. You’ve got to remember: I worked on Piranha 2 for a few days and got fired off of it; I don’t put it on my official filmography. So there’s no sort of fond connection for me whatsoever. In fact, I would go even farther and say that… I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but that is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip. And that’s not what’s happening now with 3-D. It is a renaissance—right now the biggest and the best films are being made in 3-D. Martin Scorsese is making a film in 3-D. Disney’s biggest film of the year—Tron: Legacy—is coming out in 3-D. So it’s a whole new ballgame.
A new ballgame, eh? Sounds like a real… (*puts on 3D glasses*) Game-changer. (*YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH…..*)
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CAMERON: Is your refrigerator running?
BARACK OBAMA: …Who is this?
CAMERON: (*farts into phone*)
OBAMA: …James?
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So we’re gonna criticize people for unoriginal story-telling now, huh, Cameron?
Stones, glass houses, Dances with Wolves, etc.
Essentially I agree with him. That is, about the farting into Obama’s phone.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lince! “B. Hussein Obama Bin Laden” is the preferred nomenclature.
He went on to say “And where the fuck was the space ship at the end?”
Wahhh I’m a super serious film director and everyone should use my 3D tech, how dare they make a 3D movie about pussies that are out of this world.
Say what you will about his movies being poorly written, but you gotta admit that they cost a lot.
Anybody else hoping that James Cameron macro will be a recurring character?
Cameron did The Abyss. You’d think he’d be more partial to movies with chewed up pornstars.
James Cameron opens every joke with, “Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this one before.”
“The problem with 3D isn’t that it’s overused and being used at times when it shouldn’t, no, that’s the great thing about 3D. The problem is this movie that people are enjoying.
Go see Avatar 2, which will be about a renegade cop who has to work outside the law to stop a ring of criminals.”
Cameron bought the Space Shuttle Discovery because he wants to fill the payload bay with water and play with his deep sea robot as he flies here and there.
So what James Cameron is saying is that where he comes from, turnips are filled with blood?
Yeah Cameron! And that hooker is making those plastic shoes look cheap! Get off those classy shoes ya skank!
hehehe. I dunno, I liked Avatar. Thats become like admitting you like a frakking Shalamyan movie these days, but there you go. It was an entertaining film. As for him disliking Piranha, well, I haven’t seen it but I’m pretty sure its not supposed to be taken seriously..is it?
Sure, Kelly Brook can gobble cock like Mick Jagger, but can she sing like him? That gaping hole on her face would seem to suggest, yes she can…
To paraphrase: We can’t remake the same shitty movies that already used 3D to squeeze every last penny out of them. We need to steal the plot from 4 hour long Kevin Kostner movies and spend $400 million to make it in 3D.
“You’ve got to remember: I worked on Piranha 2 for a few days and got fired off of it; I don’t put it on my official filmography.”
James may not acknowledge it, but IMDB shows it as a writing credit, so phooey on him.
IMDB: Did you work on the screenplay of “Piranha Part 2: The Spawning” (1981) under the name H.A. Milton?
CAMERON: . . . Who is this?
IMDB: (*farts into phone*)
OBAMA: . . . IMDB?
IMDB: *giggles, drops phone, runs*
Grr, that last “OBAMA” should be “CAMERON” too . . . either that or the two of them were hanging out and IMDB pranked both of them, you decide.
Jersey Devil
I’m gonna go with the image of not only Cameron and Obama hanging out, but them putting their ears to one receiver when they answer the phone at their sleepover party.
Cameron added, “Not one scene of human/piranha ponytail mind sex? How can we move forward as a decent society?”