At age 79, pioneering French New Wave filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard has finally won an honorary Oscar. However, there’s just one problem: no one can find him. It’s already shaping up to be the funniest story of the year, said a pretentious film student who listens to NPR.
Godard, a Swiss citizen born in Paris, is notoriously anti-Hollywood. He’s also anti-flying and has avoided long plane flights, one insider said, because he’s not allowed to smoke.
This means Godard, 79, could be one of the rare no-shows for an honorary award. Audrey Hepburn died in 1993 before her prize could be presented.
“We’ve been attempting to reach him since 7 o’clock Tuesday evening and we have as yet had no confirmation,” Bruce Davis, the Academy’s executive director, said late Wednesday afternoon. “We have tried by telephone, by fax, by emails to various friends and associates. We have sent a formal letter by FedEx. But we have certainly not been told he will show up at this point.” [THR]
Since Tuesday night? Well jeez, it’s barely been three days. He’s a 79-year-old Frenchman. He’s probably just been sitting in the tub, smoking cigarettes and reading Balzac. What? That was really funny. Trust me. You probably just didn’t get it.
Post-Script: If you’ll forgive the autobiographical aside here, my favorite professor in college was a Godard collaborator, a foul-mouthed, latte-chugging Maoist named Jean-Pierre Gorin. Some of my favorite things he ever said:
“Teaching, eez not about being boreeng or bored. Eez about zee grand clowning act of child molestation.”
“When you leave zeess class, I know some day, you weel be seating een za multiplex watching zee Hollywood moovie weess your friends, and zey weel all be laughing and haffing a good time, and I weel be za handsome Fronch man seeting ovair your shouldair wheespering, ‘NO! ZEESS EEZ BOOLSHEET!’
(*to a girl coming into class late*) “I cannot stand eet when you are late to my class! …But I love watching you walk down za stairs.”
(*He hears the sound of some sort of Christian group playing guitar and singing next door*) “Uh oh, I seenk we have one of zeez ‘Asians for Satan’ groups next door. I’m going to go scare za sheet out of zem.” (*He leaves the class room. Two minutes later the music stops. He walks back into the classroom*)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/guy-gets-rufio-tattoo-to-cover-edward-cullen-tattoo-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
That professor’s awesome. I’d bang him. Yeah, I know he’s almost 70. Sometimes you’ve just got to take one for the universe.
The Mighty Feklahr’s fave professor was His physics professor, only for the fact that he was a nerdy little black guy and his voice sounded like Pee-Wee Herman with a severe sinus infection.
He’s an old, strange, French filmmaker. Did anyone think to check the orphanage?
This Bruce Davis fellow probably has a square jaw. Doesn’t he sound like he would have a square jaw? I bet he has a square jaw. Bruce Davis.
Seriously, though. The Swiss have him. They’ll let him go in about 11 months or so. He can pick up his fake Oscar then.
Jean-Luc? Did anyone check the holodeck? He’s probably in there finger blasting Thai bus-boys with Riker.
Bruce Davis is planning to have his two assistants, Vladimir and Estragon, sit by the phone until he calls.
fuck, Peet. That was my joke, but 85 times funnier.
I don’t spend nearly as much time reading balzac as I do scratching it.
Goddard is Dead?
So how soon before we see a headline that says “Waiting for Godard”?
[www.thewrap.com]
Goddamnit.
P.S. I dated Jean Renoir’s great-granddaughter for a month. She was hot. I’m pathetic.
“Teaching, eez not about being boreeng or bored. Eez about zee grand clowning act of child molestation.”
Extremo took that class as well, but only on a pass/fail basis. He passed.