Here’s a fun video that re-imagines one of AFI’s all-time-greatest-films countdowns if Anchorman had been number one. Sandwiched between that kind of ridiculous praise, pretty much anything would be funny. I would’ve gone with the pee-drinking monkey. …But Anchorman is funny too. I guess. [via Fark]
OTHER HEADLINES:
Coming soon: Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick. Paramount has acquired the rights to the soon-to-be-published young adult novel named above with a plan to develop a film with Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage (Gossip Girls, The OC).
“The protagonist is a high school kid whose parents take in an Eastern European exchange student. Though she seems homely and ordinary at first, he realizes he misjudged her. After they leave the prom at her suggestion to go clubbing in New York City, she reveals herself to be a beautiful assassin after five targets. He is pressed to help and has to figure out if her motives are righteous.”
Said a producer, “Imagine Wanted… in high school!”
“And…?”
“…No, that’s pretty much it.” [Deadline]
Jon Landis’ son planning the Blair Witch of superhero movies. Fox is negotiating to pick up Chronicle, a spec script from Max Landis. It’s reportedly a hand-held, first-person, Blair Witch-style movie about three Portland teenagers who are exposed to a mysterious substance in the woods and develop special powers. Eventually they turn against each other. When I was a teenager, that substance was called “alcohol.” I’m not sure combining two lame ideas adds up to one good one, but at least they’re buying a whole script and not a “pitch.” Or a “board game.” Or a “gum wrapper.” Yes, the bar has been lowered. [THR-HeatVision]
Reese Witherspoon doing another boring musician biopic. Witherspoon is said to be the driving force behind a proposed biopic of singer Peggy Lee, with Nora Ephron (Bewitched, Julie & Julia) attached to direct. Upon hearing this news, my pet Orangutan just scratched his ass and smelled his finger. My thoughts exactly, buddy. [Variety]
Nic Cage’s Drive Angry has a trailer
From the director of My Bloody Valentine 3D comes another heartfelt think-piece about a felon on a mission to save his grandbaby. It’s basically like Taken, except the father (Nic Cage) has escaped from hell, and the people that have kidnapped his granddaughter plan to sacrifice her to Satan. Why are you laughing? That’s the actual plot. Though if he came from hell, wouldn’t sacrificing her to Satan just bring them closer together? I’m not sure you guys have thought this through. Also, hasn’t the cool-guys-don’t-look-at-explosions cliché already been busted a couple times now? [IGN]
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Though she seems homely and ordinary at first… she reveals herself to be a beautiful assassin after five targets.
Does her disguise involve glasses and wearing her hair back? Because I’d bet anything that she wears glasses and pulls her hair back.
I thought that said Jon Brandis and I thought, “Now that would be impressive.”
You could have warned us that cunt face Julia Roberts was in the AFI clip. *douses self with holy water*
“a high school kid whose parents take in an Eastern European exchange student” – a great Married With Children episode.
Other than the motion sickness, poor film quality, recycled story line, drama school acting, and the fact you had imagine most of the movie yourself, what wasn’t to like about Blair Witch?
In my high school we had a Hungarian kid named Tibor who stuttered and wore a speedo when he showered after gym. We didn’t misjudge that little f*cker at all.
*Polishes ‘Foreigner-Be-Good’ stick, adjusts American flag bandana in mirror*
“Drive Angry” is a godawful title, but I guess when the producers cast a lead who’s unable to express any emotions at all, thanks to the miracles of Botox, they had to telegraph things a little.
Reminds me of Star Wars. Back in the 70s Lucas didn’t have the cash to CGI Jar-Jar Binks so he had to wait 30 years before he could make everybody’s favorite frog-negro from outer space a reality. It’s a shame because how much more sheezy-my-neezy would Empire Strikes Back have been had Jar-Jar had a few breakdancing scenes sprinkled throughout?
FYI: My previous comment was supposed to be posted under James Cameron Might’ve Been Telling the Truth but I got bumped to this post instead. That’s bullshit Vince! Bullshit, I say!
On a related note, the tard posting as Flimflam1 late last night apparently don’t consider Anchorman a top 50 comedy he can think of. Who in the hell left the cage door open?
So will Nic Cage Blows Shit Up be a companion piece to George Clooney Blows Shit Up?
Meanwhile, Landis’ dad is directing the American remake of Chopper.
When I was a teenager, that substance was called “rape.”
AWW SONOFABITCH!! Fek, did you forget to let
the gimpVince out of his cage this morning? Again?He’s out opening another hardware store as Luke Walton’s body double.
Ok, so I just did a GIS to find out who the f*ck Luke Walton is and . . . OH MY GAWD!!! It’s like they were separated at birff!
(Let it be noted for the record that the eerie resemblance between our generous host and the esteemed mr. Walton has been remarked upon repeatedly in this and related venues, and I claim no originality in that regard. – How’s that for a reverse dick step?)
Also:
Everyone drives angry once, and I want to make a horror movie about it. It’s one long scream of fury. People will feel what it’s like when you’re angry and driving, and it’s really scary. The world is not exactly the same.
No, Erswi. They got separated a few years later at the mall. Luke made it into a Footlocker while Vince tragically wandered over to L.L. Bean.
*yawn* Qaplah, just woke up, did someone let Lince out of the Cage?
Drive Angry is what you do when you leave the theater after paying $10 to see that pile of shit. “Shot in 3D” OOOHHHH GOOOOD FOR YOUUUU!
Fek, you sleep with the key hidden in the Enterprise-E butt plug that you wear to bed. HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO LET HIM OUT?!!!
Ers-we’re fuckin’ Juggalos, YOU SHOULD HAVE USED A MIRACLE!
Fuckin’ Juggalos, how does that work?
No really, I could use a few pointers.
It’s a miracle that thing stayed lodged in there all night, idntit?
As far as He knows, He and the Ers are the only confirmed Drunkards to have admitted to ever consciously purchasing an ICP album.
Fek, not only am I guilty but guilty on two separate charges. That’s right. I bought The Great Milenko and The Amazing Jeckel Brothers.
Shortly after that I found a chick that would let me put my penis in her on a regular basis and haven’t listened to ICP since then.
Oh man, the same two He bought. }}:>(
To make His case worse? The Mighty Feklahr handed out candy one Halloween dressed like Violent J (yes, with makeup). The upside to that was since He lives in a trailer park, a lot of moms showed their tits.
Mom tits?!?! GROSS!!!
He is dead to me.
Chino, what’s wrong with mom tits? Oh, hey. Looks like you’ve got something falling out of the bottom of your blouse . . .
I used to play prostitutes a lot of money to play dead for me, but now they’re dead to me, too.
Starting too smell, though.
Looks like Fek finally retreived the key. Now go wash your hands.
to/too, fuck you.
Was Anchorman that funny? cause i never saw it, so i cant judge it.