Yes! Finally! It’s that 3D movie about lesbians I’ve been waiting for! (*reads rest of story*) …Aw, dammit. It’s a Justin Bieber biopic.
Paramount Pictures has made a deal to turn Justin Bieber’s life story into a 3D feature biopic. Davis Guggenheim, the Oscar-winning director of An Inconvenient Truth, is negotiating to direct. The film doesn’t have a title, but Bieber will play himself in the film. The pic will be sprinkled with performances from his current concert tour. The film will come out February 11, 2011 on Valentine’s Day weekend.
This comes as Bieber made a deal with HarperCollins for a memoir about his life. [Deadline]
Haha, that’s a real story. All of that is literally happening in real life and not a David Foster Wallace story. Isn’t Justin Bieber Canadian? I can’t wait for such hard-hitting chapters of his tell-all book as “I’m Grateful for Everything I’ve Got” and “All My Fans Are Super Nice!”
Olivia Munn may have to sue for plagiarism.
-Thanks to Jacktion for the tip.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/jaden-smith-wants-to-be-emancipated-for-his-birthday-says-will-smith-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/latest-movie-trailer-for-behind-the-candelabra-the-liberace-biopic-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/ashton-kutchers-steve-jobs-biopic-jobs-delayed-indefinitely-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/coen-bros-to-write-unbroken-with-angelina-jolie-directing-150x150.jpg)
This has Ratner’s name all over it…
Nice hairmet, stupid canuck!
*looks at receding hairline in mirror, cries*
In other news, Pedobear just started building a bookshelf.
This February … in glorious 3D … Justin Bieber IS
The Last Genderbender.
Also starring Justin Bieber’s lustrous coiffure as the wacky sidekick, Hair Q. Helmetbottom, and with Alan Rickman as his evil nemesis Doctor Pubarty.
This comes as Bieber made a deal with HarperCollins for a memoir about his life.
An autoBiebography?
I meant to close that tag at some point, I did I did.
Looks like the Mayans were one year off.
It’s only 3D because it’s a movie about AIDDDS.
Well if a Ray Charles Biopic took 2 1/2 hours to get through, this movie should fortunately be only 30 minutes lomg.
(The set of Bieber 3D, the director’s trailer, the director is handcuffed to the toilet)
GUGGENHEIM: You’ll never get away with this, don’t you know who I am?
POLANSKI: But of course, why do you think I’m here?
[Soaks rag in ether, knocks out Guggenheim]
P: Muahahahahahahaha
[Dons fake mustache, slips KY into jacket pocket]
P: Now let’s see just how talented this Bieber really is.
This movie will drop before his balls.
Early reviews of the project call it a “butt-pounding thrill ride through pre-pubescent androgyny”
“Can I have one adult for the Bieber movie, please? No homo“
I bet that fag Pauly Dangerously likes this movie too.
<PARAMOUNT EXEC>
Hm, yes, this sounds quite good. Now, any chance of the Bieber-kid being an abstinence-vampire with heartburn, perhaps with a couple of shirtless were-daylabourers in his band?
WOAH, did you feel that? I think our game just got changed. Coke and hooker feet for everyone!
</PARAMOUNT EXEC>
When asked about his deal with HarperCollins for a memoir about his life, he said, “What the heck, I already sold my soul, why not?”
Guggenheim is a man of many talents . . . he made “An Inconvenient Truth,” about protecting our earth, and now this Bieber biopic, which will make me want to blow it up.
When asked why he was trying to insert Bieber’s signature hairdo into his own anus, Guggenheim responded: “It belongs in a museum!”
I suppose they’ll have Bieber doing head-spasm-hair-flips in 3-D? *WHOAHH!! DOUBLE HAIRFLIP ALL THE WAY!! IT’S SO VIVID!!*
Will 1990′s Matt Ufford be able to play any epilogue scenes?
It should be called, “An Inconvenient Penis“.
“Justin Beiber is the only hope the Illuminati have to “turn” Ellen Degeneres.”~ The Illuminati
Justin Beiber 3Deez Nutz!: Power Ballads for Power Bottoms.
*Dad walks in*
“Who are you talking to, Justin?”
“It’s called ‘chat’, dad! This is Tommy, he goes to the other school and plays volleyball!”
So… Vinky’s alarm clock didn’t go off again, huh?
He’s sleeping in, he was out late last night shopping for flannels.
Vince doesn’t stay out late buying flannels. He stays out late dragging them through the gutter behind his fixed gear bike to give them that authentic dirty-hipster look and feel.
Kaopectate, Vancy. And wash your godamned hands.
My brutal humiliating slaughter of Anderson Silva will curb-stomp the pansy out of Justin Bieber and give him a military haircut…LIVE, at UFC 117, August 7th on PPV!
There’s an all-night flannel store he’s not telling us about?
Yes it’s called 20Flannel/Seven.