Over on LatinoReview today, you can watch a video that they say is Josh Hutcherson’s audition tape for the part of Peter Parker in the Mark Webb-directed Spider-Man reboot, a role that eventually went to Andrew Garfield (Scarfield). They say it was choreographed by up-and-coming (hee hee!) fight choreographer Larnell Stovall from UNDISPUTED 3, and that Hutcherson used the tape to get the attention of Sony execs.
Though if this was an “audition”, given that Hutcherson’s only dialog was “Thanks” and “late for class,” I’m not sure what it was supposed to prove. That he could do basic stunt work and make this face a lot? That he could hear a line like “Looks like your dream girl’s sweet on Parker, bro,” and not burst out laughing and ruin the scene? I’ll admit, I was impressed with that part.
And I’m sorry I couldn’t post an embed of the video here on the site, but to make it up to you guys, I’m posting Gerard Butler’s Dracula audition below, which is arguably EVEN BETTER.
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Gerard sounds an awful lot like Mel Gibson in that audition.
Tell ya what, he might not have gotten the Dracula part, but if they ever make a film out of Taxi he’s got a death grip on the role of Jim Ignatowski.
Vampires! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!
*walks through curtain to the dank, musky, rancid redolence of a Twilight autograph signing*
What the f@#k was Russell Brand doing auditioning for Dracula?
Gerard Butler was in Depeche Mode?
Why did Peter Parker go and beat up all the guys from X-Games? Now what am I not going to watch the rest of the month? *pulls up Alison Brie .gif * Nevermind.
Peet, he did get that Dracula part. Also, as reported in Who’s News in this past Sunday’s edition of USA Weekend, he recently said about himself:
I don’t know if I’m the best actor out there, but I definitely have, how would you say, I have a lot of range…I’m a busy man, doing some good stuff.
“Looks like your dream girl’s sweet on
ParkerParkour, bro,”*Does backflip off brick wall, plays air guitar*
THIS IS TRANSYLVANIA!!!!!
*kicks messenger down infinite spiral staircase
That face that Hutcherson keeps making in his audition tape is the exact face that Zed’s buddy makes when he’s watching Zed rape Marcellus Wallace in the Gimp scene from Pulp Fiction.
*Adam Lambert gets one look at Gerard Butler’s eye make-up*
Lambert ……….fag.
So, after a second viewing, why is Gerard Butler doing a Ken Watanabe impression? Note when he squints his eyes.
My fiance is a freakin BJ acrobat, when she goes down it’s straight up peter parkour.
That fighting style is Krav Ma-Gay.
Way to go, Gerard Butler! You found a wig more ridiculous than the one you wore in Phantom of the Opera!
And that movie was nothing but crappy ridiculousness.
Then again, Gerard Butler’s whole career is nothing but crappy ridiculousness.
Except Rock ‘n Rolla. I actually kinda’ liked that one.
Show me, smear the queer!
Mark Webb’s Scarfield Spider-Man not only will battle with enigmatic enemies such as Electro and Mysterio, but will face a grave inner turmoil when he confronts his lady-skinning alter ego: Peter Tucker.
Wait. He got the part? So there’s some movie out there where vampires look gay? *twirls around in cape, falls out first-floor window*
I gots nutin’ ta do wit him! Besides, Crappy ridiculousness would involve typos and the word fuck being used a lot.
The Chinese rip off will be called Gnatguy.
Aw, Crappy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you’d sink so low as to do a movie with Katherine Heigl.
Then again, Gerard Butler’s whole career is nothing but crappy ridiculousness.
Except Rock ‘n Rolla. I actually kinda’ liked that one.
Patty, He loves you dearly as one of His Drunkettes, but if He doesn’t see a hastily scribbled exception for 300 PRONTO, He will remind you the hard way* that He is three days out on His psych meds.
*possible two twitter rant…probably less
That “Punch/Spread” move Butler does at the head of the clip is actually a demonstration of the only known way to have hetero sex with Michelle Rodriguez. The wig is a decoy.
Seems Mr. Butler and I both studied under the same master of foreplay at UVA*
*University of Vagina Assault
Sokay, still stings though, but not as much as Pushing Daisies getting the axe.
I’m starting to have a real hard time figuring out which of these audition tapes are real, and which are Funny or Die rejects.
Vince, you made a mistake that’s actually an audition for The Sister Act II.
Are you sure that’s not Gerard Butler’s Jack Sparrow audition? … In all seriousness though, I can’t believe that in 10 years he has gone from this, which isn’t completely shitty, to stuff like The Bounty Hunter. I’d just like to sit down with this man and tell him, “I like money too Gerard, but you don’t see me out blowing guys every night. You need to dig back in your pants, find your balls and get back on that 300 horse you rode in on so we can all respect you again.”