
You have to figure a movie that gets mentioned during a congressional hearing would make a c*ntload of dough, and you’d be right. Being an abstinence parable doesn’t mean you have to abstain from cash money, son. According to early estimates, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse has bumped Dark Knight down a notch on the list of biggest opening days. In a related story, Dark Knight is now covered in cat fur.
Summit Entertainment’s The Twilight Saga: Eclipse earned an estimated $68.5 million its first day which is a new record for a Wednesday opening, surpassing previous record holder Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ($62 million). The third installment debuted in a record 4,416 theaters.
While the opening day is not as big as The Twilight Saga: New Moon‘s record of $72.7 million, if the estimate holds it would still be the second-best single day and opening day ever and would knock The Dark Knight ($67.2 million) to third. [ComingSoon]
New Moon eventually topped out at $709.9 million worldwide, while Dark Knight went on to gross more than a billion dollars, in much the same way that a Twihard can lift a bus if there’s a sandwich under it, but tire after walking up a few stairs. I kid, I kid. In any case, Stephenie Meyer was said to be flattered by the huge opening, writing, “It’s a very big opening day. Our opening day was massive. It was so big, it was scary.”
Descriptive!
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Under what circumstances would you watch Twilight?



Some openings are bigger than others. And some girls are bigger than others. And by that I mean Twilight fans.
“It was big. It was huge. It was massive. It was scary.”
Pretty much like any passage in any of her outlandishly horrible books.
“Knight eclipsed by gay!”
It was so big, it was scary.
Is she talking about the opening, or the average Twilight fan?
“..was said to be flattered by the huge opening.”
I thought they grew shut if you didn’t use them?
They might be lifting buses now, but when that Lautner kid finally comes out (PLEASE GOD, LET IT BE WITH A MEMBER OF NSYNC!), the Twitards will be tossing buses. Into their massive, scary openings, which heretofore have been filled with sparkling Edward dildos.
Or so I’ve heard.
It was so big, it was scary.
I think she was talking about twitards’ insatiable appetites for
homosdreamy guys andhorribly writtenromance “novels”… and honey-baked ham. Well anything honey-baked. Um… and anything covered in buttercream. Yeah, I think that about covers it.*bike-rides circles around a fat girl while waving a triple-layered fudge cake smothered in heavy cream in her face as she pants and cries*
*rides straight to hell with no regrets*
BFD…reveunes over the weekend and second week will go down quicker than your mother…