stallone-veiny-Crop

No, those aren’t Hulk hands, it’s just a recent picture of Sylvester Stallone, who at 64 years of age has finally decided to start wearing his veins on the outside of his skin. I like to imagine him using those forearms to squeeze a can of Ensure shake until the lid explodes off and it all shoots up like a fountain and falls into his mouth like Popeye’s spinach. And then he pulls his assistant’s arms off for screwing up his vanilla latte.

To find out if HGH is right for you, talk to a Mexican doctor over the internet. [Celebuzz]

stallone-veiny

Meanwhile, I’m posting The Expendables “Call to Arms” trailer below in the hopes that PEOPLE WILL STOP F*CKING SENDING IT TO ME.

Someone who posts over at io9 made this, I’m pretty sure intending it somewhat sarcastically, but people don’t seem to be picking up on the sarcasm. Not that I’m surprised, this is pretty subtle compared to most of the stuff you see on Spike TV. Seriously though, please stop sending me this. If being manly means I have to pretend The Expendables looks good unironically, I’ll just tuck my wiener and balls behind my thighs and sing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” thank you very much. I’m pretty sure those are not the only two choices, dude.

Fun song though.