Notes from the Scott Pilgrim Comic-Con Panel

I skipped The Expendables panel in favor of the much less cluster-humpy Children’s Hospital panel yesterday, which was scheduled to end at 6:00 (it was awesome, more on that in a bit).  That was the same time the Scott Pilgrim vs. the World panel was scheduled to start.  I figured I wouldn’t get in, but after I cut in line in front of some disabled kids, I managed to get inside just as it was starting.  That’s right, crippies, these legs do run.

My first thought once I was inside: holy crap this is a big room.  I did not know they made rooms this big.  I’m not sure I could’ve been further from the action had I been in the nosebleed seats of the Rose Bowl and Edgar Wright the coin they flip at the 50-yard line.  I’m not exaggerating.  This is with the camera zoomed in a bit in order to see the stage.

Allegedly, that very very small speck at the center of the frame is Edgar Wright.

He introduced the rest of the cast in waves, and every time he introduced someone, they showed footage from the movie.  I know all you nerds are dandruff over nachos for this flick, but I was never sold on the concept.  It just seems like a campy version of a nothing story. Having seen some more footage, I can tell you that at the very least, it looks amazing.  All the choreography and visual work looks perfect.  The part I remember most is Scott Pilgrim cutting down people with his sword and them bursting into coins like a video game.  Only the coins looked photo real and not CGI, and the editing work was seamless.  It’s not the lazy, actions-happen-offscreen choreography that’s become so popular lately.  Which is important, as I generally wouldn’t give a sh*t about a guy turning people into coins with a sword. I still don’t know if the story will be worth a sh*t, but I can tell you that I’ll buy the ticket and take the ride in order to find out.

Additional notes:

- Edgar Wright is a legitimately  funny and charming man.  He knows how to pander to these nerds without looking like an A-hole.

- Michael Cera showed up in a Captain America costume (as you can see in the banner).  The joke was that Chris Evans couldn’t be there because he was off shooting Captain America, so they got the guy who was almost Captain America.  Har har.  Cera let the costume do most of the heavy lifting, comedy-wise, and it was pretty funny.  He’s witty.  And very succinct.  He’s not all blah blah blah all the damn time like most of my ex wives, may they rest in peace.  Smart kid.

- Mary Elizabeth Winstead looks a lot more attractive when she doesn’t have hair pink hair and goggles on her head like Four Non Blondes  But I still think the Asian chick is hotter.

- I ain’t queah a nuthin’, but even I have to admit that Brandon Routh is a very attractive man.  Sitting next to Jason Schwartzman, he looked like he was eight feet tall.  And eh oh, I didn’t know dis panel came wid a ticket to da gun show ova heah.  Speaking of Jason Schwartzman, that is one furry little dude. He looks like one of those Spanish wolf boys who just learned to shave really well everywhere but his mustache and eyebrows.

- Keiran Culkin (Macauley’s brother, plays Scott’s gay best friend in the film) really loves sh*t on his wrists.  He’s got a watch, like ten wrist bands, and four rings.  He must’ve been reading Mystery’s book on pickin’ up chicks.  Accessories.  Very sexual.  I bet he could teach us a thing or two about kino-escalating.

- Simon Pegg and Nick Frost came out on stage in a fake surprise before Edgar Wright admitted that they weren’t actually in the movie, and they slunk off.  Ahh, British people, nature’s clowns.  Anyway, I didn’t get any good pictures of that.  Haha, good story, Vince.

- This kid was the first person to ask a question during the Q & A.  I forget exactly what he asked, but I remember it softening my black heart with its adorable earnestness.  And might I add that he has great taste in shirts.

- When I walked in, there’d been people handing out buttons from these big sacks.  I didn’t know what they were and I declined one, seeing as the last thing you need at Comic-Con is more f*cking pointless trinkets to f*cking carry.  Then at the end of the panel, Edgar Wright announced that everyone with a button would be invited to a screening of the movie right there on the spot.  Then he walked out the auditorium to the theater trailed by a massive school (herd? swarm? murder?) of dorks.  Remember what I said earlier about him being charming and funny?  I take it back.  Now that I think about it, that guy’s a real jerk.  I should’ve socked him right in his pompous, English belly.  (*kicks can*)