Friday Free for All is that time of the week when I get to post something I feel like posting, movie-related or not. Because hey, no one should work hard on Friday. Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com.
Yo, haters, listen up: you best not mess with this chick because she’ll crack your skull with the jack handle she keeps in the front seat. Morgantown, West Virginia represent. Who are these haters? Why would they mess with her? I’m not really sure, but I find this whole video sort of fascinating.
Yeah you f*cking fat ass mother f*cker. I don’t care if you’re a f*cking lawyer. I bet you can’t even breathe outside your f*ckin office you f*ckin 500, 600-pound motherf*cker.
So wait, her adversary is a 600-pound lawyer? Someone needs to get these two together for some exhausted thunderdome. Anyway, that’s when she starts doing “ninjitsu” moves. “Man, I wish I had something to f*ckin’ hit.” You guys, I think I’m in love.
Your move, Florida.
[via TheInternetIsTerrible]
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Looks like she confused her jack handle with her poking stick.
Those Thumb Wars guys are getting good! They must have upgraded the RAM drives on their CGI computer units. Soooo realistic.
That’s right, I’m C-Tate for the rest of the day. Deal with it.
Fat Fuck? Well, if that isn’t the Cauldron calling the Lobster Pot large.
The Mighty Feklahr was worried this might happen when Hello Kitty Online went Free To Play…
I call bullshit on this. No way she’s from West Virginia. She has all her teeth.
I bet she can’t even breathe out of her nose.
/\ /\ /\ Let Him tell you, that was one baller MMO joke, yIntaghs!
Now that I see it from the other side, I think that tape I sent to my H&R Block guy might have been a little poorly thought out.
Man, E Honda has really let himself go.
This is Taylor Lautner’s dream girl. She’s too stupid to be able to read Twilight, to poor to go to Twilight movies, and is REALLY good at martial arts! QAPLAH!
Chaz Bono knows ninjitsu?
She’s an over weight, bull-dyke from West Virginia with the mouth (and apparent temper) of a drunken sailor. What button could someone have found to push to make her so aggravated?
The “Butter” headband – is that for butterface, or is she that hardcore into butter?
Here’s a tip for ya, you handsome devil: Die your hair red. You’d be a ginger god!
Yo, J, she moved back to WV from Ames! ‘Membah her now?
Patton Oswalt’s gonna put on 300 lbs and take the lead in her biopic “Bring It Bitch: Lady of Morgantown”. Callin’ it now.
Oh shit! Is she the one that threw her drink in my face or the one that sat on my face and damned near suffocated me?
You know what this is? this is the handle to my 2-ton jack…You know why it is up front, in the front seat and not in back with the jack… well because I need it to get in and out of my van and the stupid fucking jack rolled into the back where there’s no fucking way I can squeeze in to get it… -gasp- you fucking -gasp- -wheeze- 500-600 ugh…Lawyer… where was I going with this?
I refuse to make fun of this girl. Anyone who confuses a hollow sheet metal tube for a solid (fucking) steel striking weapon deserves nothing but respect.
@ Fek
Fuck that noise. She’s got Iowa City written all over her.
“Yeah you f*cking fat ass mother f*cker.”
Pot meet kettle. Also, a morbidly obese WoW player? Now I’ve seen everything.
Eventually she’ll have peace and joy in her life. She just hasn’t found the right
blackman yet.OH AN SHE SEXY!
Van? Trish has really let herself go.
The only thing she can block is blood flow to her heart.
So wait, her adversary is a 600-pound lawyer?
In her defense, it must be infuriating to deal with such an expensive lawyer who won’t accept American currency.
I remember what marriage sounds like. I didn’t need this.
I’m glad Jonah Hill finally shaved that fucking neck beard.
Ahhahahaha shit! I finally watched until the end. Of course she lives in a trailer park.
*looks way too nice for WV though
I don’t know what’s more ironic? Her calling someone, anyone, a fat fuck or that she’s using the interwebs to intimidate people who used the interwebs to intimidate people.
It gets pretty hot down in WV. I wonder if she has a drip pan under the drivers seat.
She’s gonna need that 2 ton jack for her FUPA.
Her girlfriend told her that if she wore that head band that she’d “look like wun dem chulupa messican gals”.
She’s like an amalgamation of all the auditionees from the classic Kung Fu Audition clip. Back flip with nunchucks or GTFO.
Her Clan outfit was made from a California King set of sheets.
Golf balls and tires didn’t work, I wonder if she’d be interested in a career as a deep ocean blown out well plug.
This aggression will not stand, man.
She’d never be able to hit you anyway. Her own gravity would pull her fist back before it could get close to your face.
She just joined a new martial arts club. But she can’t tell you about it… Because the first rule is you don’t talk about it. And the second rule? That’s right, pussy ass faggot, YOU DONT TALK ABOUT IT.
Her name was Robert Paulson. Mad props.
It’s the pot calling the kettle a wheezing motherfucker.
@H.I., normally He might agree with you, but the lesbians in Iowa City are a lot more educated and uppity. They shop at Dollar Tree.
“I can get low to the ground and you can’t fucking hit me”
I hate playing this chick in Goldeneye.
Ninjitsu? More like Ninegutsue. It’s funny ‘cos she’s fat.
Pre-pubescent Walter Sobchak!
[media.ebaumsworld.com]
People can’t say shit to her face because they always end up accidentally staring at her neck.
The Mighty Feklahr realizes he was beat to the punch on the Patton Oswalt joke, but He simply must:
I WILL FUCKING HIT YOU IN THE HEAD AS HARD AS I CAN WITH SOLID STEEL YOU FAT MOTHER FUCKER, LOOK!
*attacks light pole*
CLANK CLANK CLANK WHACKITY SCHMACKITY DOO!
This bitch once got choked out by Carrie Fisher in a 30-pound bikini, I’m not worried.
You know how sometimes you can look at a heavy chick and kind of see that she’d be really hot if she lost a couple hunnerd?
This isn’t one of those times.
The Mighty Feklahr is sure her World of Warcraft avatar was an animated GIF of a blue-bandana emblazoned Kirby C-Walking.
She is kinda like the “Sho Nuff” of Tent City.
In defence of these “bullies”, all they did was ask for the truffle shuffle a couple hundred time.
I wish i had a neck the size of a birthday cake.
Jesus, this has been the best part of today. I highly suggest everyone peep “her” other videos, primarily this one, where it begins, “OK, you dolts!” [www.youtube.com]
There’s more of her?
God good she has a boyfriend. Here’s his youtube page.
[www.youtube.com]
Just goes to show there are guys out there that will fuck anything.
Now that’s how you do performance art, James Franco…
TwiztidAsh? That confirms your Juggalo diagnosis, Dr. Mangina.
When she said she studied “najitsu” I thought she said Nabisco….then I got hungry for chewy chips ahoy.
Man I wish I had something to hit..
How about the gym? *Kevin Eubanks LOLS*
Unrelated comment – these fucking embedded Bing tags are killing me. I feel like I’m playing ‘Operation’ trying to avoid rolling over them.
That’s all.
There’s something hypnotic about the boxer boyfriend’s wordless display of Everlast merchandise.
“Hey, you Chicken McNuggets! You think you can fucking take on me cause there’s 12 o’ ya?! You got it wrong, mother fucker! You see these teeth? They’ll fucking crush you. This is what I learned from my diabetes-stricken parents! *Chomp* Fuck yeah! What you gonna do now?… I miss my fucking parents.”
Fucking metabolism. How does it work?
I’m pretty sure she learned her “ninjitsu” by watching Naruto.
(also I watched this video twice laughing hysterically before I figured out it was a woman)
This is actually Patton Oswalt in a fat(ter) suit doing a comedy bit, right?
I would love to see that lawyer crack open that fat head of hers just to see if it was filled with Twinkie cream
Taken from her YouTube profile:
I am 32 years old, born in 1977, and am a straight female juggalo! I’m strictly dickly and I am with a real man who doesn’t feel that he has to have an anorexic skank on his arm to prove himself to other males.
I think that about says it all.
“I’m short. I can get low to the ground.”
That’s not a fair fight. She has gravity totally on her side.
$1000 says at least 75% of her cats have died
being crushed by that gargantuan assin unfortunate accidents but only 60% of the bodies have ever been found.The Mighty Feklahr can attest that this video is like even a million times more funnierer when you are good and sauced! QAPLAH!
fucking car jacks – how do they work?
I bet if you put her in water she makes her own gravy . . . yum.
She’s about as flexible as that jack handle.
In her YouTube video about loosing weight she says she wants to loose 100lbs… come on sweet cheeks, that’s like throwing a deck chair off the titanic