As you dysfunctional c*nts can probably imagine, I’ve seen about a million Mel Gibson mashups in the last few days. It seems like every lazy wetback and Jew with a couple pennies to rub together is making one. Trouble is, most of them aren’t that good. That said, handsome reader Oliver Noble edited this one especially for us, and I think it’s pretty swell.
The concept is that Mel Gibson has been hired as a script editor on some of your favorite classic films. It’s nicely edited, and the clips are well chosen. The part where Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz gang recoil in fear lolz me every time. Hey, remember when we thought “GIMME BACK MY SON!” was the height of Mel Gibson humor? Jeez, up until about a week ago, we were like Neanderthals queefing on the walls of our caves.
“What our movie presupposes is, maybe she did deserve it?”
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Excellent work, but … no Casablanca?
“You played it for her, but you will blow me first.”
The Gone With the Wind one cracked me up.
I always imagined Ashley to be the character demanding a blowjob.
Or “You complete me, but you will blow me first”? Or is that redundant?
“Let off some steam, Bennett. But blow me first.”
“Get your filthy paws off me, sugartits!”
I could swear I saw this in Uppity Cunt Housewife Quarterly’s last issue.
It wasn’t that long ago when I thought Mel Gibson was the biggest player in the world.
The times they are a changin’
“Remember when I promised to blow you first? I lied”
I want to hear an Oksana Grigorieva remix where she steps on Taxi Driver Deniro’s nuts. Or any of the last ten Pacino scream fests.
Well done sir, but could have used a shot from the Exorcist.
Don’t you fucking hang up on me! I have enough energy to drive over there, you fucking gold-digger, so don’t you hang up…oh…what? ….can you just hold on for a second, I’m on my hamburger phone.
“I don’ wanht yer lahfe. I want you to smile and blow me.”
HEY SUGARTITS!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A PIG IN HEAT AND YOU’RE GOING TO GET RAPED BY A WITCH AND HER PACK OF FLYING N*GGERS!!!!!!!
Indiana: Give me the whip.
Satipo: Throw me the idol. No time to argue! Throw me idol, I’ll throw you the whip!
Indiana: FUCKING BLOW ME FIRST.
*roll credits*
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME BUT I’LL BURN IT DOWN!!!!! BUT YOU WILL BLOW ME FIRST!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, TOO!!!!!!!!!!
HEY, SUGARTITS!!!!!!! YOUR NAME IS DOROTHY GALE!!!!!! BLOOOOWWWWW MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
“Counting cards with Charlie Babbitt…….yeah…..Count. Counting Cards with Charlie Babbitt…..yeah”
*Okasana touches Ray on the ear*
“HAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! CUNT!! CUNT WHORE CUNT!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GOLDIGGER SLUT WHORE JACUZZI!! JACUZZI, CUNT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
*Rocks back and forth in corner, Charlie slaps Oksana around like a boss*
The juice. You can have the precious juice. If you blow me first.
Has anyone created a Taken/Mel Gibson phone call mashup yet?
*slaps aftershave on his cheeks, pauses*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
For men, once the ears start getting bigger, insanity is not far behind.
*shakes fist at kids in his yard*
Ray Kinsella: Hey dad…you wanna have a catch?
John Kinsella: I’d like that.
FUCK YOU I AM NOT DESECRATING THE ONLY MOVIE THAT MAKES ME CRY
I WOULD DANCE AND BE MERRY, LIFE WOULD BE DINGABERRY IF I COULD ONLY GET SOME BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU are a sick puppy Vince :-D
Hey guys, I know you’re not gonna believe it, BUT………turns out Limp Bizkit was forced to cancel 20 dates on its summer tour! I know, I couldn’t believe it either.
“Limp Bizkit still has a big enough fan base to tour? I asked my cat. “Evidently not”, he said, but he saw my point. That they’re even still trying is amazing.
Check out Durst’s Twigger account for all the newes’ lates’, my honkies!
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Seriously. He says ‘my honky’.
In Road Warrior queef voice:
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! We GOOOOOOOOOO! We Killlllllllllll! We Riiiiiiiiide! We Kiiiiiillllllll!
Humungus: Ok, we ride. But you must blow me first.
The Man Without a Face, or a Laker’s box.