This morning I woke up with tequila breath, my girlfriend knocked up, and a tattoo of a topless mariachi girl on my chest and I wondered why, and it turns out there’s a new Machete trailer out. I guess with the Robert-Rodriguez-produced, Danny-Trejo-starring Predators out in theaters today, it was a perfect time to advertise the Rodriguez co-directed (along with his editor, Ethan Maniquis) Machete.
The new trailer has all the bike-mounted-chain-gun action of the first trailer with 100% more Mexican wrestling masks. And of course appearances by all of the all-star cast — Robert DeNiro, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, and Michelle Rodriguez in her eye patch and bra. At first I was a little intimidated at the sight of Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini, but ever since a Tijuana medicine man made me these rosary beads out of rattlesnake bones, I just rub them and it calms me. He gave me the title “El Gringo Joto”, which I think must be a pretty big honor over there.
[via IGN]
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I’d hit it.
Fun fact: If we don’t vote that yIntagh Lince and his gaggle of baktag comrades to go see “Predators” this weekend, The Mighty Feklahr will take one for the team and review it. His thought process? If He only sees one movie this summer, it might as well have Danny Trejo and Oleg Taktarov.
My “dates” usually wake up smelling of tequilla next to the 3 pound dump I squeezed out in my sleep. Don’t worry though, I always blame it on her and leave with my dignity. Stupid bed shitting sluts.
I once introduced my Don Johnson to the internet. Only one “like”. :-(
Oh well. Thanks anyways, Mom.
I think you are legally required to do shots while watching this movie. It’s one of the later amendments.
Anyways, every time I see a preview for this I can’t help but think of Dale Gribble’s counterpart Octavio. Just me? I should stop drinking* in the morning.
*do it more often
Well, I’m sure most drunkards will see this anyways, but Danny Trejo is on a cracked list today of people who turned a life of crime into careers.
http://www.cracked.com/article_18618_6-people-who-turned-life-crime-into-legitimate-careers.html
I just assumed he was a felon, but I never looked into it.
Every time I see M-Rod on the screen, I get the same feeling I had the day I realized Lord Bowler was Sho’nuff.
I like the “legally required to do shots” idea, but I think there ought to be some sort of bonus for the shots coming out of a gun-shaped bottle (9 seconds into trailer, unless I’m seeing things after too many shots already this morning, corn flakes are so dry).
Michelle Rodriguez appreciation belongs here.
oh no mr devil, my fine sir. that would be Hijos de Villa, a mexican tequila that comes in a glass pistol. 80 proof. $23.95 retail, though if you spray paint it black after drinking it, refills are free.
This movie is going to tank.
September release. . what good comes of that month?
It only encourages Mexican violence.
I think that music was in Broken Arrow.