
If you haven’t been hanging around these parts for too long *points to crotch*, then you may not be familiar with Vince’s super duper favorite Buried, starring Ryan Reynolds. It’s a movie about an American contractor, who is kidnapped in Iraq and wakes up to find himself in a wood box with a lighter, a cell phone, and the realization that he’s beneath ground. Hence, Buried. Genius, right?
Lionsgate has released the full-length trailer for Buried, which is amazing because I feel like this movie was released years ago and has been available on DVD for as long as it has existed. But it indeed hits theaters on October 8, and we can all rush to our respective cinemas to watch Ryan Reynolds flex his abs and spit wry one-liners for however long this film lasts. Then an eagle will swoop in and fly away with our good taste.
Contradict our fearless leader, First Showing:
Because the entire movie takes place inside of the coffin, Lionsgate had to be very creative with this trailer, because they don’t want to show too much of it since there’s only so much that’s in the movie anyway. That said, I think this is a perfect trailer to tease audiences and provide a sense of the intensity of Buried, which I can say will probably end up as one of my favorite movies of the year.
Vince has the advantage of having seen the movie at Sundance or Funpants, whichever film festival he attended earlier this year, but for my virgin ears and eyes just experiencing anything regarding this movie for the first time, I have to say it sounds like a shouty, huffy and puffy good time. I like to think that if I were kidnapped and buried in the desert with a cell phone, I’d call old girlfriends and ask them inappropriate questions and make perverted comments about what I’m doing to myself. Because I’ve learned that harassing spoiled white girls will get you found every single time.



Buried 2: The Gary Ridgway Experience
Because the entire movie takes place inside of the coffin, Lionsgate had to be very creative with this trailer, because they don’t want to show too much of it since there’s only so much that’s in the movie anyway.
So I’m supposed to fork over $12 to spend 90 minutes watching a story that it takes a concerted effort not to tell in 90 seconds…
…when does that Magic 8-ball movie open again?
what if he has to fart?
*races out on stage, energetically charged and sporting rainbow suspenders*
Guy’cha! If Ryan Reynolds was an old guy with a white beard, we could call this movie “Santa Claustrophobia”! I KEEEEEL YOU!
*trap door opens underneath Him, Rancor attacks!*
Reg-Hence the lighter.
They could have at least left him a map so he could find his way out.
Moose-Reynolds wouldn’t be able to find a map with both hands and his ass.
I mean Christ, Layne Staley was out of his mind on smack and not only did he tell this story in less than four minutes, he threw in a fucking guitar solo.
When Tom Hanks was the only person on screen for 90 minutes, at least he had the good taste to do so on a beautiful tropical island.
And he’s an American treasure! Not only for his acting, but his ability to father ladyboys.
I’m sure the boys at slashfilm are masturbating over this movie and comparing it to some obscure European ****.
Good thing I don’t go there anymore! I got banned from posting comments there for some good natured ribbing about the sexual habits of their rolly polly lead blogger.
Kill Bill 2. Short and sweet. It’s been done. Just walk away.