The Company Men played to largely positive reviews at Sundance (I couldn’t get in so I saw Winter’s Bone instead, which was probably better anyway), and The Weinstein Company finally released a trailer. From the looks of it, ol’ Ben Affleck’s gettin’ downsized. One day he’s all, “Eh Tawmmy Lee Jones, check me out, I shawt an eighty fo-ah this mawnin. It’s my new cawss rekid!” But then his boss is all like, “Sorry, Bawbby, ya fackin’ fiyuhd ovah heah. No offense a nuttin. We been makin’ some hahd fackin’ cutbacks in these pahts. ”
And then Ben Affleck is all like, “Oh gawd, I lost my fackin’ jawb? I’m such a losah! I wish I could stawp cryin’ like so much of a queah! Now I’m gonna hafta go be a cahpentah wit’ Kevin Costnah, my wife’s fackin’ hahd on brothah. Hey, what’s goin’ on, is my accent gettin’ thickah ova heah?” And then BOOM! the tagline:
“In America we give our lives to our jobs. This fall… it’s time to take them back.”
“Hey, jawb: ya think ya bettah den me? Yoah retahded. I’ll downsize ya mothah. I’m fackin’ Ben Affleck, how ya like them apples? GO SAWX.”
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Anybody tell him to “Hahden the fack up, you facking queeah”? What’s that? Tommy Lee Jones you say?
I guess it’s taken care of then.
Corporate affirmations make me want to put a revolver in my mouth just about as much as lines like “you, have, me.”
Fuck these pretentious ED-clinic slumlords with a pencil in their dickhole. “Life’s tough, work for a living, wife and kids, WAAAAH!!!” Anybody that makes it past the age of five thinking life should be fair needs to be fed to the fucking lions.
Fuck this. I can’t really be expected to care about a character that is a rich douche that loses his office job and has to settle for nepotastic construction work, can I? I’m going to sneak as many hobos as I can into every screening of this shitpile and instruct them that there is a shiny plastic bottle of Karkov Vodka for every viewer who comes into skin-on-skin contact with hobo genitalia.
…
Wait, that was Kevin Costner, wasn’t it? Nevermind, my hobo minions, there will be no drinking tonight.
Gung Ho?
This movie is going to kill with the 20% of Americans who can go see a movie in the daytime demographic.
“In America we give our lives to our jobs. This fall… it’s time to take them back.”
Gibberish! Take what back? Jobs? Lives? Americans? That tag line is the kind of half baked horseshit that composes one of my comments. Pricks.
Burnsy- are you talking about alcoholics or Craig T. Nelson enthusiasts?
The Mighty Feklahr has a strong suspicion that He and Morty probably saw similar types of food banks and white cans of government peanut butter growing up.
That trailer had more dips to black than Kim Kardashian bobbing for husbands at an NFL minicamp.
The Weinsteins outsourced the tagline, Crap. It makes perfect sense in Gujarati.
Man, I hope Pacino shows up somewhere in there and calls someone a fairy.
Studio Exec: [watching CNBC] Jesus fucking Christ on a motorcycle sidecar the economy stinks on ice!
Lackey: Sure does… how can we capitalize on that?
SE: Good question fuddlefuck! Everybody is thinking about the shitstorm of dead fucking fetuses that we’re in… a movie about losing your dickslap of a job! People will relate! Because they’re fucking moronic sheep fucking yahoos! Get me a script you lackey fuckster!
Chodin: [walking in with toasted english muffins] Don’t you think that people may not want to watch a movie that reminds them how terrible things are?
SE: That’s why you toast the muffins and I eat them you tittular cat raping quizzling. Go fuck off with yourself!
L: Yeah! Good one sir.
C: OK, I’m going to go dig up a dead guy and fuck with his shoes.
SE: Smartest thing you’ve said all day turdslice! Now, where was I, oh yes, a genious moment! Get me some blow, I’ve got a script to killfuck!
L: Yes sir!
If they fired people in Hollywood because of ‘redundancies’, Matty Damon would be the only one working, Ben, if ya know what I mean.
Fek -my mom made arrangements with my school to send the expired milk home with me. Good for my health and dignity.
The song at the beginning of the trailer is by my band, Middle Distance Runner. Yah hahd awns!
I identify with him because I also yell before I fart “I will wind”
It really is uplifting
I’m far too lazy to fact check that so I’m going to assume it is true. Cool stuff Steffen!
I wish I lived in Boston, where life happens. The same thing happened to me, but in DC, so zzzzzzzzzz…
Jirish, the song is called “The Sun & Earth”. Preview it on iTunes and you’ll hear it’s the same. Then go have a frappe and some chowdah!
I’ll check it out for sure. Also Boston is wicked great.
This movie might be the only thing whiter than a Mad Men season premiere.
God that looks crap. Its probably not QUITE as bad as the schmaltz loving fuckwits that produced the movie have marketed it like though, but still, won’t be watching it!