Baby Goose Is Even More Cavalier Now
07.22.10
“Hey girl, cavalier is a ballet term. Haha, I know how much you love ballet humor.”
FilmDrunk favorite Ryan “Baby Goose” Gosling was spotted taking ballet classes recently in what many are calling the least surprising story of the year. E! Online News reported that the star of the Notebook and Lars and the Real Girl was seen leaving The Edge dance studio in Hollywood, after which he stopped to chat with his adoring fans, and for the sake of our own lore, he saved some kittens from being drowned by Al Qaeda.
Take it away, guy who makes me feel great about my name, Ted Casablanca:
Now, we knew he was taking classes for his “posture” (pssh), but that was, like, months ago. That means the guy is either taking more ballet for an upcoming movie (which we hear is true), or he’s just fallen in love with the glitz and glamour of grand jetés and pirouettes (which we so wish was truer). Wonder which it is.
Well, Baby Goose is only attached to three projects currently – Crazy, Stupid, Love, which is about a dad and his kids; Drive, which is about a stuntman who is also a getaway driver; and All Good Things, which is a true-crime drama that hits theaters as soon as next week. But let’s be real – it doesn’t matter what his movies are about, because he could easily convince the director to add a scene in which he uses a pirouette to rescue his lover from a large rain puddle. (And then he’d have a satire Twitter account shut down because he has no sense of humor *violently shakes fist*.)
As for All Good Things, the picture was recently rescued by Magnolia Pictures and Baby Goose and Kirsten Dunst (Ed. – Baby Moose?) could debut on the big screen by July 28. In one theater. Nationwide.
An eagle-eyed tipster points to the Laemmle Theaters site, which had (see below) AGT quietly debuting July 28 at Encino’s Town Center 5 — one afternoon screening per day. That’s the kind of surreptitious end-run you usually see for Oscar-qualifying documentaries, not highly anticipated dramatic narratives with two young stars like Gosling and Dunst (not to mention a supporting cast that includes Frank Langella and Kristen Wiig). The distributor cited is Magnolia Pictures. (Source)
Yeah, that is pretty shocking. I remember saying to my dog the other day, “You’re on your own for food on July 22nd through 28th because I’ll be camping out to get tickets to see a movie with Kirsten Dunst and Frank Langella.” Haha, I love you, Snaggletooth!

Girl, you’re the twinkle in my eye…now let me be the twinkle in your toes.
Hey girl, you can take my sweat-pant cut-offs, I know how vulnerable you can feel in tights.
The Edge dance studio is all right, but that fucking Bono pipinng off about dying fly eyed kids always gets all the attention.
Hey girl, I’m just a steel-town boy on a Saturday night, lookin’ for the love of my life.
Hey Girl, I always say “and Thank You!” whenever I see an amazing plié. It’s just my little joke.
Missing Caption: Plié-ers gonna plié.
Hey Girl, why don’t you try these Pepperidge Farm Mint Chocolate Pirouettes. Don’t worry, they aren’t as good as the real thing!
That’s the kind of surreptitious end-run you usually see for Oscar-qualifying documentaries
Or a movie wehere the director and editor finally just threw their hands up and said, “There is no way we can unfuck this!”
*puts on Cardassian-fro, sweats to oldies on stage*
The Mighty Feklahr understands that Baby Goose comes from a long line of Conga dancers!
*Jamie Farr hits gong*
Hey girl, I’m an animal on the dance floor, and you’re in the ballet of the beast.
Baby Goose doesn’t make bad puns?
He does now.
Hey Girl, stop staring at the holes in my pants, haha, I love you Patches.
Ryan Gosling doing ballet makes chicks pirouwette.
There’s no Gosling in Swan Lake
Hey girl, try one of these cookies I just made, I call them Nutcrackers. They taste like rainbows.
Ryan only there because the ballerinas go ass tutu mouth.
Stop me if you’ve heard this before…..so Baby Goose glissades into a barre. He sees a girl standing at the barre and says “Hey girl, cabriole here often? And I mean petit cabriole, not grand cabriole….you look like a lady.” Haha, I love you, pas de deux.
He’s remaking that Baryshnikov movie. Taylor Lautner will play Gregory Hines’ “dangerous ethnic who’s light on his feet” role.
Baby Goose’s ballet coach told him he had ‘incredible lines’, and then Lindsay Lohan busted through the wall of the dance studio like the Kool-Aid man with a $3,000-a-day jones.
Hey girl, you know what they say. “Dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” Haha just kidding. We won’t have intercourse until you’re ready.