John_Edwards_rielle-Hunter-Autofellatio-walrus(Edwards delivers a tearful farewell, flanked by his mistress and Autofellatio Walrus)

The John Edwards affair story is like a never-ending rabbit hole of sleaze and yuckyness about which you need only know that his mistress changed her name because her father electrocuted horses for insurance money.  No, really.  It’s not even the fun kind of sleaze, like Juggalos and Truck Nutz, it’s just gross.  If that weren’t bad enough, Andrew Young wrote a book about the saga, and Aaron Sorkin (West Wing, The Social Network) is writing the movie adaptation, which I’m sure won’t be annoyingly smug at all.

Andrew Young told the Hollywood Reporter that he could provide Sorkin with heretofore-unknown details he kept out of [his book]. “There was a ton of stories I could have put in there but didn’t because I couldn’t prove it,” Young said. “That’s something we’re going to work through. There’s a whole other side of the story that’s never been told.”

Gosh, I hope it involves a Dirty Sanchez like that Screech video!

Young wouldn’t elaborate on the untold stories, nor would he comment on whether the Rielle Hunter sex tapes he’s being sued over could make an appearance in the film [I'm guessing not, dipsh*ts, but thanks for crowbarring that mental image in there. -Ed]. The attorneys for Hunter, the mother of Edwards’ baby, claim Young stole the tapes and that their client should share in profits from the book.
“All they’ve told me is that it will be fast-tracked,” said Young, who declined to discuss financial terms. “This is going to be his (Sorkin’s) primary focus now.”

As Young recounted, Sorkin told him, “Andrew, I’m going to do a lot of things for you, but I’m sure your life isn’t going to go back to normal,” he said. “If you think the book was a big deal, the movie is going to be 100 times bigger than that.” [Yahoo/HollywoodReporter]

“…and before you knew it, he had his wiener in my mouth.  Hollywood, huh?”

IHateMondays-Owl-wcaption