The Twilight Saga: Eclipse premiered in LA this week, spawning a 1000-plus-strong tent city which we earlier dubbed “Lonesome Town.” There’s a limit to the number of fat jokes, cat jokes, and abstinence jokes I can make before it gets old, but it’s like they’re just rubbing it in my face now. They’re like the kid whose strategy for dealing with bullies is to hope he’ll eventually punch himself out (it’s possible, but that’s why you bring a football buddy you can tag in).
AEG, which owns L.A. Live and distributed the premiere wristbands with Summit Entertainment, screened “New Moon” for fans Tuesday night. On Wednesday, the film’s actors, Peter Facinelli, Billy Burke, Julia James and Jackson Rathbone, distributed hamburgers, CDs and makeup in the tent city.
Thanks, Mike Dexter! The makeup got here just in time. My mascara was starting to run from the hamburger grease. Mmm, shame burgers. Delicious.
Stephanie Tregea, 19, drove 500 miles from Upper Lake, in Northern California, to attend the premiere. She wore a black T-shirt that said “Team Carlisle,” and held a sign that read: “My cat died while I’ve been in line. (Peter, comfort me during this sadness).”
Oh come on! A dead cat? Now what am I supposed to joke about? Wait, that actually seemed sort of clever and self aware. Hmm, no way someone who reads Stephenie Meyer could’ve mustered that. Is it possible… she was serious?
Tregea said she is concerned about a Twilight jinx, because her dog died as she waited in line for the “New Moon” premiere last year. She debated not seeing the next installment. [AP]
Game over, man, game over.

[video via Pajiba]

Really? Makeup? Tent cities sure have changed since I was a hobo.
but it’s like they’re just rubbing it in my face now.
Prepare for the worst acne you’ll ever see.
The only silver lining I can see in this is that I don’t feel so bad about all those kittens that died from me masturbating
The NHL draft is happening right across the street too. This is the whitest you will ever see that part of LA.
At least she can take solace in the fact that the rabbit will never die.
*starts looking for more appropriate Aerosmith lyric*
My get-up-and-go just got up and went.
Lonesome Town is in need of a new Sheriff – and that man or woman best be handy with a water cannon.
My cat died while I’ve been in line.
It’s not the movies or books that will ruin your vagina, it’s the generator powered “back massagers” that will do it. Sadface.
Lonesome Town is in need of a new Sheriff – and that man or woman best be handy with a water cannon.
Or a caulking gun filled with frosting.
The only town that would be less accepting of a dark-skinned sheriff than Rock Ridge.
You know that place has to smell like the Shibuya fish market on a hot day.
Sidenote: How much you wanna bet this tent city smells just like the fish tacos they serve down at Wahoo’s and sounds like an army batallion of paper shredders once the sun goes down?
FUCK YOU IN THE ASS JIRISH! FUCK!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
My cat died while I’ve been in line.
Well, maybe if you thought ahead a little and brought some food, you wouldn’t have had to eat it.
I bet this place has a strong odor of sea life.
On a side note, those aren’t tents, they’re new stylish muumuus!
Jonah Hex, Lonsome Town needs a sheriff.
(shoots sparkles out of cheek hole)
“rummaga gurggle Radward.”
(strolls out the door)
I hope someone brought a cooler. Otherwise that Edward dildo they’re passing around isn’t going to have the same effect.
I must contest the claim of Lonelytown being the whitest place in LA. With all those fat chicks, there has got to be a ton of black guys around.
du-dum-ching!! *drum queue makes racial humor acceptable by law*
Which is funnier:
A: sweaty, desparate Lonesome Town
or …
B. Last weekend’s opening of the new Harry Potter attraction here in Orlando. Bitches were fainting/puking in the heat.
(the answer is C)
OK so I need to be the coolest dude at the water cooler:
is it prounced Twee-hards or Twigh-hards?