This recently showed up on Craigslist in New York. Behold, the best casting call ever.
Megamonolith Pictures is holding an open casting call for TITANIC 2: MERMAID SAVIORS, a sequel to the Academy Award-winning 1997 blockbuster TITANIC, on July 1st and 2nd. The film begins moments after the sinking of the Titanic. All who have drowned are brought back to life by a futuristic race of mermaids, called the Mantocks, who welcome the humans to their underwater paradise. Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans. DAWSON requests that all humans be returned above water, a request that is denied by KING MANTROCK. The humans are slowly brainwashed into worshiping their mermaid saviors. Meanwhile, the sunken TITANIC has become a haunted underwater wasteland inhabited by RAGGARO and his band of mermaid pirates. Will the humans ever free themselves from their mermaid slavery? Will the mermaid pirates wage war on Mantock?
All actors seeking consideration must reply to this post with:
1.) A headshot
2.) A few short paragraphs on why they’re qualified for MERMAID SAVIORS.Actors with mermaid and under water acting experience are highly desirable.
Given that most casting calls don’t include such a detailed synopsis, I’m going to guess this was a joke. If so, it was a good one. If not… I hope this comes out soon, because my desire to see a movie about mermaid pirates is at least 10 times greater than my desire to see Jake Gyllenaal play parkour in a two-hour Pantene commercial. Upon reading this announcement, Elizabeth Berkley reportedly looked up from her desk at the call center and shouted, “DID SOMEBODY SAY UNDER WATER ACTING EXPERIENCE?”
-Thanks for the tip, Robopanda
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/EmpiresOftheDeep-GutPunch-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/05/trip-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/07/YogiBear-DanceParty-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Ondine-LadyintheWater-150x150.jpg)
Isn’t that just a summary of the teaser for Showgirls 2?
Mantrock Mantock is as stupid a name as the clowns that name their kids William Williams or Richard Richardson. Or Ashley.
My Fart Will Go On! In bubble form.
Mermaid Pirates get more tail.
“Megamonolith Pictures” They must be big.
It’s not a tuna.
Whoa whoa whoa, you need to submit a headshot or take a headshot? Either way I’m in!
Hey Michelle, I’m making a movie* want to be in it?
* Don’t bother looking, the camera is hidden to make sure you feel comfortable
Under water acting experience?
Where’s Laci Peterson when you need her.
Hey remember Kamino? That planet was cool planet. Sigh.
It would take me 4 strokes to start that 2 stroke. Maybe 5 if I’ve been drinking before.
Why is there a tripod set up in the bathroom?!?
Mermaid Jesus was nailed to an anchor.
I mean…
Under water acting experience?
Where’s Natalee Holloway when you need her?
Too bad this didn’t get posted a few days ago, Stephen Clancy Hill had an entire reel of headshots.
This sounds like a movie that fish fucker Troy McClure would be in.
Spongebob did it.
Ignore that, just a film I did for my German class.
Keelhauling- The act of dragging your cock & balls from the forehead of your lady friend all the way down her body length while water-boarding her.
Donk, I got your mermaid Jesus right here….
[tinyurl.com]
Please tell me there’s a humorous scene where Jack Dawson ends up smelling like human after some intimate time with his mermaid friend.
Pauly, my favorite thing about Mermaid Jesus is when he turns our atmosphere into wine.
Mermaid Jesus can’t walk on water or land. POW. I’ll be here all week. Seriously, I hate my life.
So the mermaids can revive the dead? Does that include Billy Zane’s career?
*Dangles penis is the Atlantic*
Here fishy, fishy fishy…
Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans.
I’m sinking of the world!
Michael Bay had a written a script for a sequel to titanic but it turns out the same movie had already been filmed under and is called Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus.
Not knowing who Natalee Holloway was – i actually thought you meant Natalie Wood, Pauly – did some research and now i finally understand Bunk’s line, “This ain’t Aruba, bitch.”
Natalie Wood works too though, doesn’t it?
Yup.