This is the trailer for Red, from Summit Entertainment. It’s based on a comic book and I didn’t cover it much, because during production, it sounded like the most generic action movie ever:
Red is the story of Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), a former black-ops CIA agent, who is now living a quiet life. That is, until the day a hi-tech assassin shows up intent on killing him. With his identity compromised and the life of the woman he cares for, Sarah (Mary Louise Parker), endangered, Frank reassembles his old team (Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren) in a last ditch effort to survive.
So basically Watchmen meets A-Team meets Bourne meets Killers/Knight and Day/Mrs. Smith. The premise couldn’t possibly squeeze in more overused plot gimmicks, short of adding vampires. There’s also the matter of the director, Robert Schwenke having previously done Flightplan and The Time Traveler’s Wife. And yet, dare I say it, it actually looks fun. I guess casting Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Mary Louise Parker, and Morgan Freeman goes a long way. It also helps that Bruce Willis never tells Helen Mirren to count to three, only to have her ignore him and flail screaming into a hail of bullets like a retard. GET IT? IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE GIRLS ARE STUPID! I’ll take this over Knight and Day any day. Or knight.




Please oh please let there be a Morgan Freeman getting sponge bathed by Mary Louise and Helen Mirren scene.
His voice would make it important.
Has anybody informed Mary Louise Parker of the Tits or GTFO policy? THIS IS IMPORTANT DAMMIT!!
Channing Tatum wishes his name was Karl Urban.
By A-Team do you mean AARP-Team?
This does look kinda fun. If nothing else it gets my respect for letting the stars act their age (versus “Hi, I’m your bright-eyed 37-year-old new secretary!” or “Hi, I’m a 47-yr-old midget superstar international spy!”).
You had me at Mary-Louise …
Why do the heroes always get cool names like Frank Moses or Jason Bourne? I could sure go for some more unique names like, Harry Orrifice, Logan Butramm or Peter Dickface.
Do old people even know how to use RoboCop’s gun? They’d most likely get an error message.
/Space Cowboys
Are you kidding? This looks better than The Expendables! (Helen Miren looks way tougher and cooler than any of those kevlar fags!)
@ bonder -
Plus, I’d rather have sex with Helen Mirren tan any of The Expendables.
/Just kidding, Jason Statham.
[warmingglow.uproxx.com]
Maybe the best thing ever.
I love that the post title is “way better than Knight & Day” but the permalink is “way-better-than-green-hornet” I’m sure the HTML metadata says “way better than the expendables.”
New up but you wouldn’t understand it anyway.
Oh hell yes. Karl Urban AND Julian McMahon. This might cleanse the taint of Jonah Hex.