The FilmDrunk Frotcast: Episode 1
06.17.10
(Sorry, guys, the bear ate our script)
Well, folks, I never planned to do a podcast, but since there was clearly a huge demand from the fans (by which I mean four people emailed me of the course of three years), I was duty bound to create one. Heh, “doody bound.” So here you have it, the pilot episode of the FilmDrunk Frotcast (look up “frot” on Wikipedia if you want to understand that one, but beware of disturbing imagery).
With my guests Ben and Brendan (two lifelong friends/guys I found sleeping in boxes behind my apartment), we discussed The A-Team, Get Him to the Greek, and a little bit of The Ultimate Fighter Finale, all examined through the philosophical lens of jokes about each other’s wieners. Then towards the end, we tell stories that won’t be at all interesting to other people and laugh uncomfortably. In the future, we hope to have more guests and get a little more relaxed in front of the microphone, so much so that we eventually forget it’s there and reveal so much about ourselves that no one will ever love us. Also, I’ll try not to use the word “like” so much.
Anyway, you can (hopefully) stream it from here, or you can download the mp3 from here. Hopefully it won’t break, I haven’t done this before. Also, we’re still waiting to get it approved on iTunes, but hopefully, soon. Oh, and in between insults in the comments section, please vote for which movie you want us to see for next week (Cyrus, Toy Story 3, Jonah Hex).
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My vote as to whether you see Toy Story 3 depends solely on whether you plan to attend it while blazed.
Toy Story 3. I’d love to hear your take on parents that for whatever reason, can’t hear their own fucking kid screaming but have no problem with shushing your girlfriend because she’s slurping your dick a little too loud.
*admires longest run-on sentence I’ve ever written*
I hate the fact that my computer is to old and protected for me to hear it. i know there’s a joke in here, but I have a 12 hour shift to do.
*Kicks up feet on desk, pulls out PSP, plays Resident Evil 3: Nemesis*
jonah hex cause i hate you for making me look up frot
See Cyrus, because creepy fat kids who hate their mom’s suitors hits so close to home I have bruises.
Brett Ratner votes for that Miley Cyrus movie
I’m just guessing here because I can’t listen to this until I get home, but it’s a lot better than that mimecast I listened to. biggest waste of 90 minutes of my life…
Vote for Jonah Hex.
Seems like the embed isn’t working, so click the link to listen. I didn’t think it was that funny when we recorded it, but it turned out well. Hope you all like hearing about my penis!
I can not stream this from work! When I get home I’m going to make tuna sandwiches and maybe listen to it. Definitely tuna sandwiches though.
You’ve got three guys so obviously I vote to have each dude go see a different movie then meet up afterward and press your dick tips together to form a hive mind. Trust me, this is how all podcasts work and will make for some awesome radio.
And make them Space Dock while the third guy tries to break up the Docking with his boner.
Toy Story
Old Man fashioning a kayak out a log…Wait! No!
That’s a lot of reading for an intro to listening.
Jonah Hex.
Grown Ups?
Vince’s voice sounds like an angel’s queef.
Definitely Toy Story 3. The registered sex offender vibe you cats throw should go over well in there.
I would like to punish you for talking about MMA and UFC stuff so much which is not film related, so I think you should go see Jonah Hex
I’m listening to it right now but I’m kind of scared of hearing what those two guys are going to do to that lovely lady who hosts the podcast…
… unless it’s some sort of rough two-on-one sexcapade. Then I’m all ears.
Oh, and I vote Toy Story 3. And don’t sit next to or in front of Polanski unless you wanna get quaaludes and jizz in your popcorn.
Either way, we won’t judge.
Jonah Hex
I honestly do not care which movie you see, as long as one of you puts a hole in the bottom of the popcorn box.
I’m so disappointed that you missed where the plot for The A-Team came from!
The original “The In-Laws”!
Don’t you remember how pissed off Peter Falk was to find out that he risked his life for the Global Monetary System?
“Serpentine, Shel! Serpentine!”
I love the website but thought I was gonna hate this podcast. But I ended up listening to the whole thing.
From laying waste to the A-Team only to praise it, to the Amir Sadollah love, to ripping on that fuck Russell Brand, and ending with the drunken revelry stories, I’m sold.
I think the venom you guys will spew from having to see Jonah Hex will be fun. See that.
I want you to see Jonah Hex so you can agree with me that Megan Fox sounds like a female Forrest Gump.
Thanks, man. Telling me you thought it was going to suck and ended up enjoying it is really the best kind of compliment. We hope it will only get better from here. When we finished we weren’t sure if it was going to be total shit or not.
As far as the A-Team plot, I have to lay all my cards on the table here and say that I was really fucking tired when I saw it, and spent most of the last half just trying to stay awake. There are probably lots of witty allusions and references that went right over my head.
No, those were all pretty much in the first half of the movie, Vinky.
Mental note: Don’t wikipedia “frot” at work. Confusing in so many ways.
I think Hex might have the most potential for an entertaining podcast.
Oh, and save the MMA talk for the With Leather ASS-TA-ASScast.
Toy Story 3D while baked
Toy Story
“hey you guys. I can’t make it to the gang bang cos my knee ligaments are really loose.” Really enjoyed this. Is that Brendan from Tyler?
I know you’ve already chosen Jonah Hex, but I want to vote for it because you didn’t talk about mma enough.
It’s a different Brendan, I probably should’ve specified. i forgot that they have the same name. And are both tall.
I’m way too late to vote on this but I would’ve voted for Jonah Hex anyway, because hey, schadenfreude. You knew this was coming. I listened to the whole podcast. It wasn’t too bad, except I don’t follow MMA, just cringe when they’re on the bar TVs. Your funniness comes out best through your writing. Um.. and manliness? I liked the uncomfortable chuckling at the end.