President Obama’s nominee for the Supreme Court is Elena Kagan, and if it were me, I’d vote to confirm solely on the basis her being a total hottie. Luckily, there are people in congress taking this more seriously. People like Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, who today demanded to know whether Kagan preferred obsessive, stalkerish-but-platonic pedophiliac vampires with sparkly white skin, or greasy ethnic werewolves with hot blood and glistening abs. (Video of the exchange after the jump).
“You had an incredibly grueling day yesterday and you did incredibly well, but I guess it means you missed the midnight debut of the third Twilight movie last night,” Sen. Klobuchar said. “We did not miss it in our household, and it culminated in three 15-year-old girls sleeping over at 3 a.m.”
“I didn’t see that,” Kagan said.
“I keep wanting to ask you about the famous case of Edward v. Jacob, or The Vampire v. The Werewolf,” Sen. Klobuchar said, opening her questioning with a bit of lightheartedness.
“I wish you wouldn’t,” Kagan said with a laugh. [source]
OIL SPILL SCHMOIL SCHMILL, TELL ME ABOUT THE THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON THEY USE TO GREASE UP TAYLOR LAUTNER’S SIX PACK, AMIRITE? I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THESE BANKS, BUT EVERY TIME THAT LITTLE PETER PUFFER COMES ONSCREEN I HAVE A MELTDOWN ALL OVER THE SEAT CUSHION, GNOME SAYIN?? WHAT? WHAT’D I SAY? RELAX, WE’RE JUST A COUPLE OF GALS HAVIN’ LADY TALK OVER HERE.
Going to midnight film screenings in the middle of the week… making Twilight jokes… From what it sounds like, being a Senator is a lot like being a blogger. (Oh, and for the record, Kagan declined to answer.)
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This is why accountants from Iowa develop an alternate personality that is from off-planet and speaks in the third person.
Going to midnight film screenings in the middle of the week… making Twilight jokes… From what it sounds like, being a Senator is a lot like being a blogger.
Let’s not forget about the three 15 year old girls unconscious in your living room.
I hope she’s Team Literate!
Kagan will have to recuse herself from the upcoming historic trial Salt v. Amy Klobuchar’s bloody beaten corpse.
And calm down, Federal Government it was a joke. Besides, you shouldn’t take me any more seriously than you evidently take when appointing Supreme Court Justices.
Nothing says “Intelligent Woman” like reading books written for 6th graders.
What a stupid question.
He should be asking her if she prefers District 9 or Avatar. That’s important.
Make that last sentence grammatically correct. I am really pissed that this bitch thinks she can joke about fucking Twilight. You got your name in the news, you win this round, Klobuchar.
The Mighty Feklahr would spare your planet annihilation if she had answered, “I am Team “Shut-the-fuck-up-and-get-that-dildo-out-of-the-fridge-you-stupid-fatass”!!!”
I’m just sad Senator Kennedy isn’t around to ask her if she likes long car rides.
The Mighty Feklahr wonders how far the drive is from Minnesota to Ciudad Juarez…
Donk, it’s like we planned it. Pat Tillman would be proud.
11 cats died as a result of this conversation.
The Mighty Feklobuchar demands to speak of team romulan.
Team Bella. Obviously.
[as you incidentally mouse over another fucking Bing link and the pop up pops up, behold, it is Crappy, who crawls out of your monitor, spills your coffee and says]
She’s clearly Team Snatchmunch.
She may not be into Twilight but I’d bet my car the number of times she’s watched Hairspray! is into the hundreds.
The silver lining to the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob feud is that, at the end of the day, Edward can just suck on Bella’s tampon, and Jacob can chew the ass out of her underwear.
Americans. Such whimsy in your appointment of Volturi overlords!
Guess who else had a sleepover with three 15-year olds…
*points bloody ice pick at self*
I can’t remember the password to Ini Kamoze, so I’ll just pretend I didn’t slightly step on Stoney’s dick.
What’s with the Psychlos in the background?
Senator Kockblocker is just jealous that someone is beating her in the Man Impersonator contest. I’m just jealous that someone else that someone else gets to beat her.
So Minnesota, too busy counting lakes to elect serious candidates? Senators Franken and Kockblocker in Congress, and not even a good character from PREDATOR for Governor. For Shame!!
Sorry, I had a hiccup.
Off the record, Elena Kagan was hillarious as Uncle Frank in Mrs. Doubtfire.
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!! WTF! When did our government resort to being fascinated by vampires and wear-wolves!?!