I can feel it, you guys, I think this is the year Dreamw
orks finally catches up with Pixar. Attach a stupid cotton thing to my pen, Hollywood Reporter:
The Good Luck Trolls, with their frizzy, pastel-colored hair, are coming to the big screen via DreamWorks Animation. The company behind the “Shrek” franchise said Tuesday it has pacted with Denmark’s Dam Things, which controls the toy line, to develop an animated feature. Siblings Adam Wilson and Melanie Wilson LaBracio will write the screenplay.
Touché, Dreamworks, touché. Capitalizing on a current trend like Troll dolls is going to be a tough act to follow. Your move, Pixar. I can see it now, Pixar’s The Pog That Pokémoned, coming soon to 3D and slap bracelet.
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Toys from Denmark? This movie is going to be rotten.
This hair-raising adventure is anything but Troll Dull!
-You-Know-Who
Fuck 3D, this movie will be filmed in Hypercolor.
*shakes Crystal Pepsi, sprays all over crotch*
That picture is exactly what the movie needs to be. Evil Trolls capture girls with big tits. And I save them. And then fuck them. … The girls, not the trolls. Who do you think I am, a FOX executive?
Ten bucks says this comes out near the same time the Smurfs movie does and fucks them both over because people have a hard time telling weird-looking tiny communists from Denmark apart from weird-looking tiny communists from Belgium.
A Koosh Ball movie would be the perfect comeback for… you guessed it, Danny Masterson.
Me: Will Tom Cruise, Danny DeVito, Seth Green, Eric Connelly and Rhea Perlman star in this extravaganza about the lives of short people?
Hollywood: Hahaha, no silly boy, this is all animated with voices from Jay Baruchel, Nicolas Cage and Ian McKellan.
Me: Fuck you.
Hollywood: You can. For $20 a ticket bitch! Muahahahahahahaha.
I once dated a girl in high school, well, until I walked into her room for the first time and these fucking things were everywhere. Troll pillow, troll painting, troll jewelry box, and at least a thousand different trolls in various size from real doll to butt plug. Never spoke to her again, but I did tell everybody that she sucked dick like a cripple.
Me thinks he doth protest too much…
Does that kidnapee have plantar fasciitis?
Something is what the fuck is it with those stupid goddammed trolls in the state of Denmark.
The Garbage Pail Kids revival spec script… it calls to you, Dreamworks…
They’re sitting on her pencil….then they’re gonna sit on my pencil. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Does that kidnapee have plantar fasciitis?
I don’t know, but she’s giving me Boneritis and possibly early onset Jailbaitus
Does that kidnapee have plantar fasciitis?
The fuck are you doing looking at her face anyway? Now that you mention it though, it does look a lot like a Venus Fly Trap. Coincidentally, so does her vag.
“…with their frizzy, pastel-colored hair…”
Who the hell do those trolls think they are, Sig Sig Sputnik?
Troll movie = Durst.
Troll movie theme: “Keep trollin, trollin, trollin, yeah!” = MEGADURST!
Pete Hammond: Dreamworks does it again! They are on a (T)roll!
Do you guys remember when we used to go over to each other’s houses for a sleep overs and use slap bracelets on each others cocks?
No?
Me neither!
But I knew some kids who did…Fags!
When I was a kid I wished that my troll would come to life and be my friend.
20 years later I woke up next to a midget with Bell’s Palsy named Darlene. I guess some wishes do come true.