There should probably be some law against me posting something this weird this early in the morning. Anyway, it’s called “Nicolas Cage Wants Cake” and it comes from Harry Partridge. You can find an mp3 of it here. It’s pretty self-explanatory and yet… not. File it one under “strangely mesmerizing.” Pathetically, I couldn’t figure out which Nic Cage film that line came from without Google, but apparently it’s from The Family Man, one of the few of his I’ve never seen. Which Brett Ratner directed. No wonder all the dialog is about food.
DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS
- Space Race 2020: USA vs. the robots. |Uproxx|
- This kitty didn’t like the other kitty’s top hat. |WarmingGlow|
- Panda’s wrap up of the Vuvuzela meme absolutely slays me. |GammaSquad|
- That English goalie says he was distracted by breaking up with his girlfriend, and probably all that sand in his huge, huge vagina. |WithLeather|
- Hell yes: every clip of Zach Galifianakis from Tim & Eric. |AdultSwim|
- The massive, collaborative video for Johnny Cash’s “Ain’t No Grave.” |Urlesque|
- The 10 dumbest hackers in movie history. |Fark|
- “Lockers fall over on an unlucky stripper.” |GorillaMask|
- USA vs England, Lego edition. |NextRound|
- The top ten deadliest animals on Earth. |Gunaxin|
- The most shocking deaths in Hollywood films. |Guyism|
- Seven amusement parks we’d like to see. |UnrealityMag|
- Six actors who need to play a villain. |ScreenJunkies|
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The ‘TA-DA!’ just made my morning. It also edged out ‘sad vuvuzela’ in my ringtone lineup.
Hi. This is Wilford Brimley. Welcome to Retardation: A Celebration. Now, hopefully with this book, I’m gonna dispel a few myths, a few rumors.
First off, the retarded don’t rule the night. They don’t rule it. Nobody does. And they don’t run in packs. And while they may not be as strong as apes, don’t lock eyes with ‘em, don’t do it. Puts ‘em on edge. They might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming “No, no, no” and all they hear is “Who wants cake?”
Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake.
This is what happens to a Coppola when they don’t let upper-class ennui get to them.
The cake is a lie.
[farm4.static.flickr.com]
work safe
Great, now that’s gonna’ be stuck in my head all day.
And I want cake.
My mom loves this movie and has owned it on both vhs and dvd. She regularly calls me during the holidays to ask if I want to watch it with them. Kill me.
I want cake now as well. Where the hell is chelle0?
Nicolas Cage is the most notorious cake eater since Adam Banks.
Do all strip clubs keep a camera running in the dressing room?
Does the Pope bury evidence of child molestation by priests in the woods?
I got stuck watching The Family Man years ago during an apheresis donation. I assume they played it to keep the donors’ blood pressure up. I seriously can’t think of another film whose ending got me so angry.
Did no one notice the ball sac on Rotisserie Chicken Nic Cage? That’s great animatin’!
My chocolate cake brings Nic Cage to the yard and he’s like “this acting is hard” damn right, hamming it up like a tard.
Animated Tea Leoni is looking good. I’d eat her cake. And her muffin.
When I read this I mistook The Family Man for The Weather Man, and now I can’t get my mind off archery.
Thanks to Animated Tea Leoni,, it’s sexy, sexy archery. Until someone gets an arrof to the genitals. then it’s tragic, tragic archery.
My point is, I’d fuck her cake, or whatever the appropriate euphemism is.
*arrow* not arrof