Wow. I don’t know how much farther down Stephenie Meyer’s retarded rabbit hole I want to go, I’m already terrified of what I’ve found. What’s this, you ask? Why, it’s a tattoo of Peter Facinelli’s signature, of course. On the calf (I think?) of a fan identified only as “Megan.” You see, though Facinelli will always be Mike Dexter in Can’t Hardly Wait to you and me (Aman-duhhhh!), he also plays “Dr. Carlisle Cullen” in Twilight, part of Stephenie Meyer’s ridiculous name brigade that eventually reaches its zenith with the baby “Renesmee.”
Look, I can understand being a huge Twilight fan (okay, I can’t, but just go with it for the sake of argument), but this guy’s not even a major character. See, I like The Big Lebowski. But if I were to get a Big Lebowski tattoo, it probably wouldn’t be a portrait of Philip Seymour Hoffman as Brandt. You see, because that would be retarded. But time out, does your mind have its pants down yet? Because it’s about to get blown. Megan here? She’s not the only one.
Yep, those are teeth-marks that say “Dr. Cullen.” On Twihard Trina Gonzalez’ neck. Holy sh*t, I would love to be a fly on the wall as Trina explains this tattoo to her grandkids in 30 years. And by “grandkids,” I of course mean “30 cats.”
But hey, if these brain dead yentas want to get “I heart vampire baseball” tattooed across their foreheads, that’s their business. I just feel sorry for the kid that gets named “Renesmee.”
In related news, I’ve got my Peter Facinelli tramp stamp all picked out:
[via Peter Facinelli's Twitter]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Zac-Efron-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/uproxx-video-whats-your-twilight-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/01/Moonwalking--150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/01/Cat-tattoo-lady-back-tattoo-150x150.jpg)
Lince, THe Mighty One hates to say it, but the Twihards got NUTHIN’ on Star Wars fans. LOOK AT THE SIN!
[hypebeast.com]
HE SAID LOOK AT IT!
A Willrow Hood action figure has the lameness of a Carlisle Cullen tattoo beat by a Kessel Run.
Who would have thought that Mike Dexter would have gone on to work at NASA?
*Looks down sadly at Brandt tattoo*
Don’t tell me that you know 20 ways to make me call you Big Poppa.
‘Cause I don’t, yo.
But hey, if these brain dead yentas want to get “I heart vampire baseball” tattooed across their foreheads, that’s their business.
Dor sho gha, Lince! You TOTALLY slaughtered “yIntagh” there!
But, oh gawd, seriously, this whole thing has got to stop. Twilight tattoos might as well be known as “tattoos you’ll regret later.”
brain dead
yentasyIntaghs…It’s rubbing off on me. I think it started when The Mighty One asked if I had a little Klingon in me…
Shit. I had to go back to find how to spell it properly. :-(
Hey, be nice. Turns out everybody has some form of crippling social retardation that makes them fall in love with unreasonable fantasies and escape the harsh reality of an unfeeling world by banding together in could best be described as a group of those who would willingly place themselves back in Plato’s allegorical cave because shadows can’t hurt you.
Oh, but Peter Facinelli might be able to predict the future.
Because, really, who wants Jennifer Love Hewitt now?
I dunno Fek, I’m kind of happy about that Willrow toy. The ice cream maker is in so many shots it should really get a toy of its own.
That one chicks tattoo is pretty similar to mine. I have a stethoscope tattooed on my balls and it says “Dr. Cummin” above my pubes. What are the odds!?!
Twilight tattoo’s are an excellent way of identifying socially undesirable retards.
I tattooed a second hole next to my colostomy bag so when I take it off to drain the poop, it’ll look like Dr. Cullen bit me. – MLIT
That is GAY!!
*rubs Jennie Garth tramp stamp*
Qaplah! On the other spectrum of action figure news, FINALLY a Madmartigan action figure!!!
[img64.imageshack.us]
Edward Cullen bite-marks can only be tattooed on a penis.
I’d hit it.
So wait, which part of the Twilight universe does Ms. Gonzalez’ facial hair represent?
What?? No “This bitch deserves to be kicked in the fucking throat” tag? This is horseshit!
I’m gonna get a tattoo of Megan’s face… with Calvin standing next to and peeing on it.
wow thank you everyone for your awesome remarks…actually he took a close up of my arm…really not that crazy..the crazy part is how obsessed everyone is with it! its just a tattoo…a fan tattoo…get over it
megan
I thank the gods that I did not get a tattoo of many of the things I was obsessed with in my teens. I would be covered in bad poetry and Duran Duran. But, at least it would be the actual band, not a roadie.
Duhhhhh. It’s just a fan tattoo. She’s clearly not seeking attention. Like get over it.
Megan, did they successfully cover up your Tom Felton tattoo?
Oh Burnsy, dont lie, you have a Tom Felton tattoo. And one of that kid that plays Neville.
I really hope you don’t regret that someday, Megan, you should see how long it’s taken me to have my “A Million Little Pieces” tattoo removed.
That’s awesome. All I have is this stupid Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants tattoo.
Hey Megan, you seem like the kind of person who’s prone to making spur-of-the-moment decisions which leave you permanently scarred and uglier. Wanna go for a ride in my van?
Is that really your arm though? I looks like a bleached football.
haha~ um thanks…bleached football eh?
Hey Megan, you wanna see my Edward Cullen bite-mark tattoo? It’s definitely a real ink job, but I also consider it a rubbed on tattoo.
I have a job!
hmmm…
Beeks, she probably saved up all her babysitting money for that! Totally!
It is on her arm along with all of the symbols from the books and she was quite sane. Her name is Megan and she has beena big fan of Peter’s for a long long time. I know all of this, because she is my best friend. It is actually his signature and not faked. It was done at the mall in Puyallup, WA.