Jonathan Swift wept
06.02.10
(Guhhhh-liver’s Travels)
FINALLY, Swiftian, 18th century political critique is coming to the big screen… IN 3D! Haha, I love you, 20th Century Fox. Gulliver’s Travels opens in December, with direction from Rob Letterman (Monsters vs. Aliens) and a screenplay by Nicholas Stoller (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Yes Men, Get Him to the 
Greek) and Joseph Stillman (Shrek, Shrek 2, Planet 51).
Jack Black takes on the title role of Lemuel Gulliver, a free-spirited travel writer who, on an assignment to the Bermuda Triangle, suddenly finds himself a giant among men when he washes ashore on the hidden island of Liliput, home to a population of industrious, yet tiny, people. [ComingSoon]
So basically, Fred Claus meets Alvin and the Chipmunks with Jack Black. (*RECORD SCRATCH*) (*dog covers eyes with paws*)
Tagline: Black is the new big. And I guarantee no less than 10 people had to sign off on that, probably 20. See, now THAT’S a Jonathan Swift story.
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I’m sure the pitch for this flick was a modest proposal.
Jack Black is back in his biggest role!
I’d rather eat an English baby than watch this abortion.
“Don’t forget to LiliPUT this on your list of MUST DOs!” Pete Hammond, useless et al
Usually when I hear “black is the new big” it’s a girlfriend listing the reasons she’s breaking up with me.
So, this movie is starring a Jack Black themed “Real Doll”? Do you have to soak it in warm water before you jam your dick in there or what?
I’m sorry but Ted Danson played the best Gulliver in the Hallmark original motion picture Gullivers Travels
Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of letting our writers come up with original ideas and not letting execs and big ego directors and actors completely change everything: Of not taking what are already good foreign films and then remaking them for the American market: Of rejecting the hacks who put together movies based on tv shows from the 70s and 80s: Of quitting making movies based on factions like Tyler Perry movies for blacks and Sex and the City movies for gays, nor acting any longer like Scientologists who defraud retarded actors of millions of dollars with their space religion…
Not pictured: me, on the beach, making 20%.
Black is the new big
I see everyone’s riding that Precious wave (that was started by a belly slap).
Is it just me, Karl, or is Jack Black going to turn into his character from Tropic Thunder? This movie and it’s shitty tagline will be followed by an Eddie Murphy biopic (“Black is the white black…comedian”), then Nacho Libre 2: Border Crusher (“Black is a wetback”) and before you know it we’re watching The Fatties (“Black has back…boobs”).
I never pictured Gulliver as a spastic asshole.
I’m sure they are half assing this one. Gullivers stop in Lilliput was only one stop on his adventure. He went on to another island where he was tiny and everyone was gigantic etc. etc. Fuck Hollywood. I bet we can tag team blog a better screen play than some of the shit heads out there.
@zerocharisma – Irish babies.
And that might actually be a movie worth watching….well, until Fox gets a hold of it and turns it into a shitty RomCom.
20th century fox presents: The Modest Proposal, in 3D!
The story of a poor couple who has to pretend to be engaged so she won’t be deported back to Canada by INS. Hijinx ensue, they fall in love, but then they get pregnant and can’t afford the child. So a wealthy Englishman (hopefully played by Sean Connery) purchased and devours the child.
Wow, this post started out as a joke…but holy crap I would totally watch that movie.
“He went on to another island where he was tiny and everyone was gigantic etc. etc. Fuck Hollywood…”
Easy there LordZnot, don’t blow your load on the first one. Save it for the sequel.
Whoa whoa whoa… I may be wrong, and I may be taking the easy route, but when has black NOT been big?
I mean seriously, did you see him in Orange County? What a pig!