Here’s Jimmy Kimmel’s Twilight spoof, “Friggin’ Twilight,” starring the cast of Jersey Shore.  It’s Twilight-related.  It’s Jersey Shore.  It’s viral video.  Of course I’m going to post it. I ain’t allergic to cash money, y’all.  Plus, it’s pretty funny.  Some thoughts:

  • I like how Snooki thinks she has to act in order to be obnoxious.
  • That Sammi chick (her name ends in “I” right?  I’m just going to assume all the girls’ names end in I.) could not possibly be more of a complete waste of space.  I know you’ll say they all are, but a couple of them are reasonably charismatic.  But Sammi.  She is an empty vessel. I hear she has to bring a friend to the supermarket so those automatic doors will open.
  • The girl who left in the first episode should not get to be a part of this phenomenon.  However, the way she takes her three seconds of acting time in this video and knocks it out of the park should probably be taught in acting classes.  I’ve chopped it to just that three seconds after the jump, in case you want to watch it over and over (recommended).
  • Notice how they repeatedly reference their cartoonish Italian-American-ness and I never complain?  I’m still working on this theory and I’ll admit it’s a bit of a generalization, but I think it’s because of this: Only stupid people get offended.  People like to say, “But you don’t know what it’s like to be  mocked! You shouldn’t joke about that one thing I’m personally familiar with!”  And honestly, having now experienced it from this side, I think can safely say, “Who gives a sh*t.”  Being offended by jokes made at the expense of your race or whatever really just means you have too much time on your hands.  We get it, you’ve inserted yourself into a situation, congratulations.
  • Hey, did you guys hear something about an oil spill, a financial crisis, a war and some general getting fired?  Crazy stuff.  Anyway, MORE TWILIGHT JERSEY SHORE PARODIES TO DISSECT, PLZ.  KTHXBAI.