Pictured: the rare and magnificent Daniel Craig Mustache Celebrity Photobomb
A few years back, I reported a completely unsubstantiated rumor that Daniel Craig was pushing James Bond producers to write in a gay tryst for 007 (suggested character: German Bond boy/double agent Wieners Aplenty). Today, it’s another unsubstantiated rumor, this time that Craig was making out with a dude at a bar. And as we all know, two unverifiable rumors = fact.
The National Enquirer quotes two witnesses who say they saw 42-year-old Craig, who is in a long-term relationship with film producer Satsuki Mitchell, at the Roosterfish bar in California on May 15. The first source says: “It was definitely Daniel Craig and he was most certainly making out with a guy.”
“It was an open-mouth passionate French kiss. In fact, Daniel held the guy’s head in his hands and pull[ed] him in for the kiss!”
The source says Craig broke off when he realised he was being watched. “If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed it.”
Still, just because one sees a guy give an open-mouthed French kiss to another guy, one shouldn’t jump to conclusions. When my buddy Bruce told me he was ordering the UFC on his 60-inch plasma screen this weekend, I got pretty excited too, and we’re as straight as they come. Anyway, even if it is true, Daniel Craig is an actor, and actors always have an excuse for this sort of thing*. You could be in a room with three goats, a bottle of lube, and a lactating Eskimo woman, and if anyone walks in, you just shout “I’M RESEARCHING FOR A ROLE!”
*sub excuse: Actors are totally queer.
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When my buddy Bruce told me he was ordering the UFC on his 60-inch plasma screen this weekend,
…I proceeded to ice him.
The Mighty Feklahr doesn’t care who Bond is fucking as long as he keeps beating women around.
Double Oh Theven
In the next film, Bond becomes tied up in some serious back ops while trying to serve his country.
Gay Bond Villain: Would you like a drink my dear?
Gay Bond: Appletini, gently stirred, not shaken.
You really expect us to believe that a diminutive hairless Englishman is gay?
Makes sense, the next film is called, Casino, Roy, Al.
Followed by the Quantum of Sole Ass.
Don’t forget Brownfinger!
At the age of 13 or so, my close childhood friend – upon hearing some actor had come out of the closet – proclaimed that “All actors and musicians are gay. 100%”
We’re still close, and even as we are rapidly approaching 40 years old, when this type of news story breaks, he will often call to say “I told you!”
Octomangina???
For Your Brown Eyes Only.
License to THRILL! *jazz hands*
*furiously tries to construct an Asston Martin tailpipe joke*
Moonraper?
The Spy Who Loved Me In A Purely Platonic Manner
The next Bond villian will also be named Jaws, but for an entirely different reason…
The Man With the Golden Dong
From The Castro With Love
Your Cock Is Not Enough
Dr. YES!
In a related story, Volkswagen has just submitted a bid to supply the studio with a specially equipped Cabriolet for the next Bond film.
Just finished checking the list of Bond films, looks live we’ve run out of titles to make fun –
THUNDERBALLS!!!
Oh, so that’s why the Hong Kong translation was “Condom of Sore-Ass.”
You Only Cum Twice
Yeah, The Living Gaylights? Live and Let…Fabulous?
Diamonds Are Forever, But That Outfit Is SOOOOOOOOOO 2008
Thanks Roger Moore for not coming through in my “Which James Bond actor will be rumored to be gay first?” office pool
Die Another Day (Fight For The Cure!)
“Do you expect me to spit?”
“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to swallow!”
License To Thrill
Roger Moore probably keeps a harem of Thai Ladyboys.
fuck, sorry fek.
If this thread doesn’t jitterbug into your brain…you aren’t masculine like Heath ledger’s cowboy.
I think we exhausted the gay themed Bond titles….
Untitled Bond 23 That’s Gay!
Gay Bond is just like his Aston-Martin with a lube leaking out the rear end.
After witnessing the kiss the first source stated “God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes”.
Villain: Caques Amour
James Boned James Bond.
Ol Fekky has to admit, the thought of Bond drinking a blueberry daiquiri and shooting down the SATC girls shoes/handbags does hold some merit, though.
This explains that dick-broom he calls a mustache.
On His Majesty’s Secretion Service
Well, we now know what “Q” is short for……………………………….
Quartermaster, or, evidently, “Tool”.
Wait wait wait! He can go under-cover to Dubai as a British fashion journalist, blow away Sarah Jessica Parker with a rifle, mutter some shit about Seabiscuit, then fuck the lesbian one straight!
Fuck, that’s not gay (except for the British fashion journalist part)!
I guess Moneypenny was right about him all along…
Fek, just make sure you don’t accidentally take the rifle that shoots horse tranquilizers
Wake me up before you go go
got me hanging on like wristwatch grappling hook
007″ uncut.
Guy’cha! The horse tranqs are for Him!
*shoots up*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE DEVIL IS IN THIS MICROWAVE! KALI MA!
*pulls out Hot Pocket*
Are there any fruity fashion queers that aren’t “bottoms”? If so, we could use one here at Filmdrunk.
Wow, what a post to start pg 2 with…
Daniel Craig’s Facebook page is Bon D. Licious.
James Bondage.
Stoney-isn’t that Simon Lebon’s Targ-Furry persona?
Daniel Craig is so confusing.
Not because of this, but because he’s not hot….and yet he’s hot. His attractiveness defies logic. I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT..
[fc00.deviantart.com]
And, yes, there really is a Targ Furry. (work safe)
No, it isn’t Him…
They won’t have to change Plenty O’Toole’s name.
Um, I mean… gay joke?
No I get what you are saying Patty. He’s in good shape and dresses well but his face looks like it’s been repeatedly pounded……..by penises.
Makes sense if the franchise plans to reincorporate loads of nsa promiscuous sex.
A secret agent must be able to blend in everywhere; even at The Power Exchange.
Men’s asses please. Neither shaken or stirred, but gaped.
It’s Raining M
Asspussy.
If only he would expand that facial hair. I think he would prefer a goatse over that silly mustache. What’s that, Karl? Goatee? Whatever.
DANG DANG DANG!!! Now you all know that I’m actually quite manish and was at Roosterfish bar in California on May 15. Shhhhhhhh, no real names, we must keep this between us.
Guy Another Day
or Dr. Blow
or Bi Another Day
or The Guy Who Loved Me
So what? So Daniel Craig is bi. So is Angelina Jolie and nobody would suggest that precludes her playing straight characters in films. Always such a double standard in the US.