I’ll give Tom Cruise some credit for being a good dancer the other night, but I still say that the funny character Les Grossman could’ve been is more than overshadowed by Tom Cruise’s over-the-top mugging and self satisfaction. Also consider: Why would an overbearing studio exec based on Harvey Weinstein (or Sumner Redstone, or whoever) be constantly dancing to rap music? It has nothing to do with the character, it’s just pure, cheesy-ass pandering. If you think it’s hilarious when people break into choreographed hip hop dance numbers for no reason, you should go watch Marmaduke or Beverly Hill Chihuahua.
ANYWAY, now you idiots have gone and done it, because Paramount and Tom Cruise are making a Les Grossman movie. It was widely reported yesterday that Tom Cruise smiled and said “we’re working on it,” when asked about the possibility. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything, because actors say that kind of stuff all the time and are all untrustworthy sociopaths. It gains credibility, however, when you consider that Cruise has been talking about this since 2008, and Pajiba (NERDS!) mentioned Paramount being “in the early stages of development” on a Les Grossman movie as recently as February.
Bottom line: of course they’re doing it. They greenlit a movie about a magic f*cking eight ball for Christ’s sake, you think they wouldn’t make one about some half-assed MTV joke all the kids seem to enjoy, starring their favorite actor? So congratulations, all you people who think I’m a d*ck for not enjoying this bit. I hope you like your satire both toothless and pointless (yay, another dance number!). This will make a Jay Leno roast of Kevin Eubanks look like that Iraqi shoe thrower guy.


Begrudgingly he did dance well, but what song was Katie clapping along to?
Clapping? I thought she was crushing teeny tiny Thetans…
The Mighty Feklahr is sure He knows how Helen Thomas feels about this schtick.
Hollywood is starting to option movies that are little more than inside jokes. Before you know it, Kevin James will star in ‘That one Time the Production Assistant got Dakota Fanning’s Coffee Order Hilariously Mixed Up!’
God is dead. I hate you all.
I’d rather watch the Les Nessman story.
“but I still say that
the funny character Les Grossman could’ve beenevery character Tom Cruise has ever played is more than overshadowed by Tom Cruise’s over-the-top mugging and self satisfaction.”Fixed!
This is like the time Buster Keaton did a brazen rendition of the Charleston alongside Josephine Baker during the 1926 Gramophone Revelry Hour
This isn’t all bad, maybe if Cruise makes enough money the Church of Scientology can buy a building large enough someone can accurately hit it with a jet.
How can you hate this? The MTV performance featured Jennifer Lopez and a cameo from Ludacris. It’s awesome to be alive in 2002!
RRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
I’M A FUNNY CHARACTER TOO! I SHOULD START MY OWN BLOG BECAUSE THAT IS A FANTASTIC IDEA! THERE IS DEFINITELY MUCH MORE DEPTH TO ME THAN JUST SCREAMING ABOUT ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES AND ATTACKING PEOPLE WITH PRIMITIVE WEAPONS!
*stabs reporter with short sword*
GGGAAAAAARRRRRR… I SAID NO COMMENTS ABOUT SPLIT WITH VIKING TIPPER!
WTF was Mitch Connors…err Jennifer Lopez doing there?
Don’t blame this on me, Vince. Hell, I didn’t like Tropic Thunder, let alone this character. Even RDJ in blackface wasn’t enough to make me want to watch it again. Jack Black may have played a small role in my disdain for that movie too.
Maybe I just don’t get young people’s humor. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for some ice cream and a nap.
You watch this shit…
[www.youtube.com]
…and if you still believe that it was really Tom Cruise dancing at the MTV Movie Awards, I will rip your leg off and kick your ass with it.
I do believe it was Tom Cruise. The look of his signature smug self satisfaction when the dance ended couldn’t be faked, at least not through the makeup.
Go, white boy! Go, white boy!
Looks like the police tased him.
Needs more sword wielding pornstar. Just sayin.
I’m not sure why but I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed when the media forces us to watch old white people mixing in with hip hop somehow. I’d much rather watch them be uncomfortable and slightly to extremely terrified, just like in real life.
Jesus Pauly, that was more awkward than cuddling with my uncle.
Guy’cha, Pauly, that was more awkward than cuddling with Jirish.
Jir, I’d probably dance like that too if I was surrounded by a bunch of black people. It’s tough to find your flow and rhythm while trying not to shit your pants out of fear.
If that was Tom Cruise dancing, then my name is Cunty Von Pussysprinkles.
For realsies:
I can’t stand Tom Cruise, but not for the same reasons as everybody else. He has obscenely narrow shoulders for a man. So much so, that I always notice it. It’s like the Uncanny Valley or something; I can’t put my finger on why, but it truly bothers me. [/serious]
HAHAHAHA! Tom likes to secretly put things in his butt cuz he’s a closeted homo!!!!1!11
“Bottom line: of course they’re doing it. They greenlit a movie about a magic f*cking eight ball for Christ’s sake”
I’m sure more than one eight ball was used in this process. Producer’s fortune: bloody nose and not sleeping.