Hey, girl. Baby Goose is in a movie. It’s called All Good Things and he stars opposite Kirsten Dunst. Haha,
Set against the extravagance and excess of New York City in the 80s, the film is about the heir to a New York real estate fortune whose wife disappears, inspired by the life of Robert Durst. David Marks (Gosling), the son of a powerful real estate tycoon, marries a beautiful [*stifles laugh, squirts milk out nose*] working class student, Katie (Dunst). Together they flee the city for country life in Vermont – only to be lured back by David’s father (Frank Langella). Upon their return, Katie goes back to medical school and begins to make a life for herself. But as Katie becomes increasingly independent, David mysteriously turns more violent and controlling. Family secrets are slowly revealed, just as Katie disappears without a trace. [Wiki]
Hey, girl, I have a secret: I picked you some flowers! I put them on your bed. Haha, I love you, color splashes. Hey, girl, I have another secret. I’m going to make you disappear later. Because I’m in the mood for hugs! But only if you want to, girl.
“All Good Things” is the title of my diary.
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It’s good to know they can’t be bothered to spell their own stars names right. Frank LANGELLA.
opposite Kirsten Dunst
My ideal woman.
Goose: “She’s perfect…”
Friend: “Jesus Christ, have you seen her teeth???”
Imagining Kunst’s face on that missing poster gave me a stiffy.
Ryan Gosling turns violent and controlling:
Hey, girl, I was just wondering where you were? I mean, I was expecting you home at 6:30 and it’s 6:35. I sent you a text four minutes ago that you didn’t answer. Ok, well if you just want to go hang out in your room for a while, that’s cool, but I’m not charging your iPod.
Haha girl, I know you like your steak medium, but I made it medium-well. Also, if you want any of these sauteed mushrooms, you’ll have to tell me the administrator password that you set up on my computer.
“All Food Things” is the name of any Twihards diary.
The biopic based on the life of Fred Durst is “All For the Nookie Things”.
Quit being such a b-word and get back in the kitchen. I’m trying to wrap your present and I don’t want you to see it!
Hey girl, I’m gonna make you disappear, right under this blanket of hugs.
Hey girl, if you want I can spend the afternoon helping you find a dentist through your SAG benefits.
“You fucking skanky cunt, who are these guys on your Facebook? I am watching you, bitch!”
*walks away from mirror and sighs to himself…”you can do it this time, baby goose…”*
I remember Dunst and Durst, but I’m drawing a blank on the other stage of that conjugation. Should have stayed awake in my Inexplicable Celebrity 101 language course.
Figures she wouldn’t be a dental student.
Hey girl, is this your Invisalign brochure? Well maybe you should read the label to see who it belongs to… and keep going.
Hey girl, don’t listen to these miscreants, your vampiric grill scares me hard. Ha, ha, made you smile.
If they moved to the country life in Vermont, does that make her a hay girl?
“All Good Things” is the title of my diary.
I thought it was “All the Small Things”?
Hey, girl, you know what doesn’t have diplomatic immunity? My heart.
Hey girl, I’d rather move to Connecticut because the name implies a relationship.
Hey girl, it’s not that I don’t like Vermont, it’s just a U away from sounding naughty.
Hey Girl, cat got your tongue? No? Piranha got your teeth?
Hey girl, I can’t wait to have a child with you, which is why I need you to stop performing oral sex.
Hey girl, I know Med School is hard, but if you don’t pick up these flash cards, I’m scheduling an appointment with Dr. Rosenthal.
Hey girl, let’s get out of the city and go somewhere we can see the leaves change.
I really don’t have a joke but what is the deal with New Yorkers and the effing leaves anyway? It’s fall people. It happens.
No, but seriously though. Kirsten Dunst needs to stop acting.
Hey girl, I was thinking we should play a game. On the count of 3, name the first thing that comes to your mind… 1…2…3… LATERAL INCISOR! Haha, I love games.
Hey girl, my dad is Skeletor.
Kirsten Dunst has a face that only Baby Goose could love
Baby Goose as a murderer is about as convincing as Katherine Heigl playing someone who doesn’t murder puppies.
Also bitch, why can’t you spell the “i” after the “r” like a normal person
Hey girl, after I kill you, I’m going to notify your family by writing a letter with that nice calligraphy set you gave me for Easter.
Hey Fek;
[failblog.org]
All good things you say? And it’s involves the unexplained disappearance of Kristen Dunst? Obvious play on words explaining the plot of the movie? This is a romcom?
I would wish for someone to punch her right in the fucking mouth but I don’t enjoy gory violence. And I imagine those teeth of hers nibbling the person’s fist like a woodchipper and that makes me queasy.
Hey girl, I know you have trouble with corn on the cob so I cut the kernels off for you.
Hey girl, I just got done putting the crown molding in the crawlspace. Does this rag smell like
chloroform?
**Thump**
I love you, baby.
Whoa, weird. All Good Things is what I call my dream in which Kirsten Dunst, Snooki, Lindsey Lohan, and Ryan Seacrest all get killed.
One down… c’mon power of my subconscious!
Hey girl, could you do that thing you do and open up this blister pack?
Spoiler alert: Frank Langella makes Baby Goose kill his fugly wife the way he made James Marden kill his fugly wife… which is why Frank Langella is my fucking hero!
Frank Langella. Having guys kill their fugly wives, one bitch at a time. (Fuck you! It makes perfect sense! *sips vodka spiked-yoohoo drink*)
Hey girl, if I had teeth like yours I’d use them to nibble on your earlobes, and you would giggle a bit. Ooh, but then those teeth would be visible again. Haha, scratch that idea.