UPDATE: NY Mag told me not to use their photo (even though I essentially used it as bait to link their website, but whatever), so instead of a relevant shot of Helen Mirren, you can enjoy zombie corgi here, sent in by a FilmDrunkard. DO NOT STEAL IT OR ELSE YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM MY CORGI LAWYER!

Zombie-Corgi

Helen Mirren stars in Love Ranch opposite Joe Pesci (opening June 30th), and all I  needed to know about that was “Joe Pesci plays a pimp.”  But as if that weren’t enough, Mirren recently sat down for a feature in New York Magazine and took some pictures where you can kinda see her jugs (NSFW one here).  I wouldn’t recommend it for all 64-year-olds, but hey, it’s Helen Mirren (I suggest a Google Image search of her earlier work).  British girls could really give American ones a lesson on not being so uptight (hint, hint, Mom).

Mirren signed up to play Grace Botempo, the madam of a booming seventies Reno whorehouse in her husband Taylor Hackford’s film Love Ranch.  “Interesting” is probably underselling Grace. Diagnosed with cancer and frustrated with an epically sleazy husband (Joe Pesci), Mirren’s madam begins a hot love affair with a beefy boxer 30 years her junior, played with abundant smolder by Spanish newcomer Sergio Peris-Mencheta. “He’s got a fabulous big-animal thing in that sort of raw, brutish, ugly-beautiful way,” says Mirren, who shares a steamy, and, because it’s her, entirely plausible love scene with Peris-Mencheta. In addition, she makes d*ck jokes, stomps on the throat of a misbehaving prostitute, and presides over the brothel with such swagger that Pesci shouts, “Who do ya think you are, the queen of f*ckin’ England?”

Sold.  Look, you had me at “stomps on the throat of a misbehaving prostitute,” okay?  You can put your boobs away now, this isn’t Europe.