I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this like I usually do, but then I noticed “Deathly Hallows Trailer” was the number one trending topic on Twitter, so here it is, the newly-released HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS TRAILER MEGAN FOX TOPLESS LESBIAN UPSKIRT #BIEBER.  Mmm, that’s good, papa needs strip club money.

Emma-Watson-BootsIf you’ll remember, they’ve split the final installment of Harry Potter into two movies, with part one opening November 19th and part two opening July 2011, both directed by David Yates, who also did the Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince.  I’m probably not the best audience for this — I went through a boy-wizard phase back in college, but that’s about as far as it goes.  Nonetheless, it’s nice to see JK Rowling, who seems to be a good writer and super inventive, succeed instead of that dope Stephenie Meyer*.  Also, with Bill Nighy, Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman, Rhys Ifans, Helena Bonham Burton, and Brendan Gleeson in there, there’s enough acting talent to go around, at least enough to negate what an awkward weirdo Daniel Radcliffe is.  I almost peed a little when I saw Warwick Davis, that guy’s awesome.  But could someone tell Ralph Fiennes that no one’s buying this “Rafe” business?  Your name’s Ralph, dude, enough with fancy stuff.

Anyway, even if you’re not into all this dragons and magic crap, it should be noted that Emma Watson looks like this now. I’d like to sneak into her chamber of secrets, gnome sayin’?  (*chugs Bud, spills mustard on “No Fat Chicks” shirt*)

*Here’s an easy comparison: just look at the character names.  JK Rowling: Neville Longbottom, Horace Slughorn, Nymphadora Tonks, Mundungous Fletcher; Stephenie Meyer: Charlie Swan, Billy Black, Renesmee, Carlisle Cullen.  I ask: which ones sound like clever, children’s book names and which ones sound like an eighth-grade diary?