(Lady, just adopt some cats)
People recently had a feature on Twilight fanatics and their shrines to their own unhealthy obsessions (next week: Bulimics pose with jars of their own puke!). Most of them were teenagers, and thus might be forgiven for being idiots, but they had to include at least one token house wife. Judging by the depressing number of fully-grown women with children who came into Barnes and Noble while I was there yesterday to pick up Stephenie Meyer’s brand new novella The Second Short Life of Bree Tanner, there are lots of them. That’s a book about an army of newborn vampires, by the way.
LINDA MOORE, 56
After her husband refused to let her decorate their bedroom, Moore transformed the guest bedroom of her Katy, Texas, home into a “Twilight fantasy.” “One of my best friends says she wants to spend her birthday in there!” she told PEOPLE. “Everyone who has seen my Twilight room either loves it or thinks I’m crazy.”
Is your best friend seven? I hope your best friend is seven.
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Oh my god, Linda Moore. You’re the same age as my mom. Stop it. Right now.
The Mighty Feklahr would forshak a brick if that room doesn’t have a sybian that looks like a little silver Volvo.
I hope her husband comes home in a drunken Texan rage and decides to conduct a mammogram on her using that Twilight bed and the wall.
Not pictured: Pattinson Inflatable Love Doll with reversible “Mangina” attachment.
What He is trying to say is, we can only imagine the carnal horrors a fly on that wall has seen (and subsequently tried to clean from it’s eyes with Raid).
And, lady, I don’t care if they’re vampires or werewolves or whatever. They’re still young enough to be your sons.
Therefor, you are creepy as hell.
Texas is full of crazy people. I am the only sane one. Send help.
She even pussy-farts Paramore songs.
Everyone who has seen my Twilight room either loves it or thinks I’m crazy
I’ve said the same thing about my basement torture dungeon.
I want to open up one of those Edward umbrellas inside each of her holes. All slow-like.
Haha! Stupid lady, act your age!
*tears down Deftones posters, covers concert tee*
She’s fucking married? How bad do I feel for being single… Oh not bad considering how many chicks want to do that to their room.
[serious]Katy is a suburb of Houston. As a bookseller who works near another Houston suburb of Sugar Land, I can attest to the infestation of 40+ and 50+ Twi-tards who came in this weekend to buy that book along with their Twi-tarded daughters. The worst part was actually the days before when people kept calling to ask if we were having a midnight release party and to double check that the book was coming out on a Saturday:
Me: Yes mam, just like James Patterson and his never ending parade of shit that he doesn’t even actually write, this bitch thinks she can release books on whatever day she feels like.
Twi-tard: Huh?
Me: I said that yes, it does come out Saturday.
Twi-tard: Ooooo *probably wiggling her ass like a pig at a feeding trough* I’m so excited.
[/Serious]
Can’t wait until that banner pic is presented as “Exhibit A” by Mr. Moore’s attorney in their future divorce proceeding
Her husband is what she calls her edward cardboard cut out. Her kid had to go to a psychiatrist everyday for a lifetime after walking in on them going at it( her husband was crying the whole time).
Oski, Meyer knew her fans wouldn’t be busy that night.
I bet her titties are a saga to her knees.
Fun fact: That Edward pillow is covered in industrial strength Scotch-guard.
Thanks to my “Twilight fantasy” I’m legally barred by the state of New Jersey from going within 500 feet of a nursing home
There’s just something hypocritical to me about fans of the author of an abstinence parable having a “release party”.
Can we “Donnie Darko” this bedroom? Jet Engine, meet face.
The ‘tards at night, are big and not so bright
*clap, clap, clap, clap*
Deep in the heart of Texas.
Those eyes say “I love Twilight” but those chins say “I love the KFC Double-Down”.
“Everyone who has seen my Twilight room either loves it or thinks I’m crazy.”
I get the same reaction with my room dedicated to Reese Witherspoon’s tits.
With the amount of money she’s spent on that shit, she could have done liposuction, a body lift, boob job and joined Jenny Craig.
Ironically, it still wouldn’t have given her what it would takes to get Rob Patt to love her. Namely, a penis.
Jesus, I’m still hungover.
EXTRA S’S FOR EVERYONE!!!
Dammit, j! *heads back to nom page*
BTK, welcome to FD, meghanl12. The Mighty Feklahr sees you have come prepared. This is good.
One of my best friends says she wants to spend her birthday in there!
I hope she brings her own sheets.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Bigger like by an extra chromosome.
To be honest I think Vince missed a great opportunity for a Slave Leia photobomb
Is that pose supposed to be seductive? Thank god for no extreme closeup on the Edward stand up so we can’t see the stains.
I guess I wont post those pictures of my homage to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. My pillows are made of people!
I love that the image says at the right top corner what I´m thinking.
You know that Twilight commemorative plate gets licked clean after every meal, whether she ate off of it or not.
I was there yesterday to pick up Stephenie Meyer’s brand new novella
Much has been made clear.
I like how she’s even wearing her werewolf slippers to totally immerse herself into the story…
Huh? Those aren’t big animal slippers?? WTF?!?
How is it that a woman that age can have a creepy obsession with underage boys but my uncle’s Cheetah Girls bedroom complete with sex pillows and dungeon closet is frowned upon?
It’s not the bedroom set they frown upon. It’s the prostitutes locked in the closet that the cops keep searching for.
“Everyone who has seen my Twilight room either loves it or thinks I’m crazy.”
Yep…
The thing is, Linda Moore is obsessed with Edward et al. If she had created a “Rob Pattinson” room, well then — that’s a different subject. Be nice. We all have our obsessions.
Why is it more acceptable to create a room dedicated to a fictional adonis than a real person? Is it more sane or less sane to worship a poorly-written and shallow character rather than an actual human being?
This is the same subject. This bitch is crazy. We don’t all have obsessions which cause us to damage human relationships or spend time hoarding useless bullshit to fill a gap in our personalities. Only the fucking crazy ones do. Don’t normalize this horseshit. I am not like this person. I make rape jokes on the internet and I’m still more well-adjusted than she is.
Normally I wouldn’t pile on to the late blooming Twilight fan defending the creepy room but I am in a weird mood so, weeee.
By your logic it’s okay for me to beat it furiously to Dakota Fanning’s character in the Twilight movies because it’s a fictional character and not an underage girl?
Also, I’m no expert but there’s maybe one object in there that doesn’t feature Abstinence Adonis or Minority Temptation. Yea, I’m sure she’s just as obsessed with rubbing her kitty to pictures of Bella.
Whoa, back the fuck up Jiri.
Dakota Fanning’s in Twilight???
Do she & K-Stew tickle each other’s tonsils?
She’s head of the emo detective agency vampires or something. I know that’s not specific but I haven’t seen anything past the first one and only did that to be polite.
Woe to the lummox who makes wet the mogwai. May his breeches choke with barbs upon the partakence of ale, lest thy shehemoth spawn a litter of nurslings. May the annals proffer, I shalln’t impute upon the mam-ham, for I dost remain wholly unfamiliar with the endeavors of the callow young Patticakes, albeit I doth profess approbation for the adroit and consummate Billy Corgan’s avocation in the quintessential Nosferatu.