C-Tates-at-the-apollo

It’s been announced that FilmDrunk favorite (or is it flav’rite?) Channing Tatum has signed on for the Ron Howard-directed comedy Cheaters. The Universal Pictures project stars Vince Vaughn and comedy legend Kevin James, but before I spoil too much, my good friend C-Tate wanted to give us the news himself:

Yo girl, I gots a question: Is yo fine ass funny? Because I’m all up in a comedy, son. Ya heard, the boy C-Tate’s reppin’ laughs like MadTV, for real, in Opie’s new flava Cheaters, right? Yo they addin’ serious street cred, too proper, too fine. Queen Latifah with her big tittays, son! She from the streets like me, nephew. We gon be like Def Comedy Jam and sh*t, like my boy Bill Bellamy, tight.

Yo girl, Dark Horizons got the news legit, but remember I’m yo White Horizontal, haha sh*********t:

Vince Vaughn and Kevin James play best friends and business partners with Vaughn’s character observing his pal’s wife (Winona Ryder) being intimate with another man in a restaurant and debating whether to tell him.

Jennifer Connelly stars as Vaughn’s wife. Tatum would play Ryder’s lover, complete with tattoos and multiple piercings.

Yo girl, I ain’t know ‘bout no people named Vince makin’ me laugh, aight? But Kevin James, son. This sh*t’s like dancing with Turbo and O-Zone and savin’, like, 10 mutha f*ckin’ rec centers for a Honda Civic full of hot bitches that are, like, half Asian and half Rican, right? Yo, you see the Paul Blart movie, playboy? I was like, Aw snap, homeboy fell down! Comedy, respek.

An’ yo Winona girl, you ain’t really do it for me, maybe get some platinum in yo grill and make yo ass clap, just sayin’. But I’mma get some dope ink for this film, for real. On one arm, it gon say, “One Luv” for my moms, nawmsayin? And like, over my hot abs, son, I’m gon get “C-TATE AIGHT” cuz I’m proud of who I be, for real proper. Ya heard.