Shrek Forever After and MacGruber both open today, and I’ve always wondered, why couldn’t promoting a movie be a little more like pro wrestling? Where’s the trash talk? The MacGruber people must’ve read my mind, because they started a new website, ShrekExposed, which among other things, shows pictures of Shrek dressed as Hitler and masturbating to religious figures.
Everyone knows that Shrek is a chronic masturbator, but do you know about his habit of masturbating on beloved public personalities, successful business people, and religious figures? I bet not. Shrek has been distributing images of himself ejaculating on photos of the Pope (pictured), Celine Dion, Buddha, the CEO of Home Depot, Rachel Ray, the CFO of Citigroup, and many, many more. Is nothing sacred to this disgusting ogre?
Hitler jokes and masturbation gifs? Touché, MacGruber marketing department, touché. You truly know the way to my heart. Another great thing to come out of this is that I discovered that “SherkMasturbating.com” isn’t taken as a domain name. I think I’m going to buy it and use it as a Colin Hanks fan site. You see while Zoolander had “Magnum,” “Le Tigre”, and “Blue Steel,” Colin Hanks just has “Shrek Masturbating.”
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/04/Pixar-vs-Dreamworks-cartoon-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/04/vman6-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/krzyztof-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/04/kryztzof-shrek-150x150.jpg)
I hate shrek movies, I dont even remember what happenned in the last one
Ah…icing the Gingerbread man, I see.
Clever, but not clever enough to make me want to see ‘Macgruber’.
Shrek Masturbating? Oh, grrrrr.
Hey Shrek, pass the Macluber.
So they just took all of the Jesse James rumors and changed them to Shrek?
Shrek and Mcgruber? sounds like the plotline for Sex in the City 3.
He’s clearly a shigger.
Princess Fiona went from being trapped in a tower to being trapped in the laundry room with a bunch of crusty socks.
Shrek prefers to call it ‘slinging relish.’
I can’t get home fast enough to see this. [looks at clock] MOVE DAMN YOU!!
……I’ve jerked off onto pictures of Rachel Ray before.
I’ll go to the corner.
Chino, he wasn’t a sock user…take note, he never had sleeves left on his jackets
…haha, jacket…jack it…
*mumbles inaudibly*
Crusty socks? more like Crusty Donkey Asshole!!!
Hopefully all this online bullying will make Shrek hang himself.
I could never jack it to a pic of
PedoPope Benedict, but Pope John VIII… welll… [paws at junk]as long as Shrek’s not putting his ass on pinochio’s face and making him lie he’s still good in my book.