Summit just released the first clip from the Twilight Saga: Eclipse (which you can watch below), featuring Dakota Fanning and her clan of foppish dandies, the Volturi. I didn’t watch it myself, but judging by this screen cap, Dakota’s bitchy BFFs are none too thrilled with Edward Cullen’s slovenly appearance.
“Oh. Em. Gee. Like did you SEE his hair? I’m like hell-ooo, honey, you’ve been alive for a thousand years and you STILL haven’t figured out hair product? It’s so tragic. The bedhead look is SO 1680s.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. What a disaster. Oh my God. More plaid, I can’t even LOOK at him.”
****
So, uh… Dakota Fanning’s character can use the force or some sh*t, huh? See? It’s never just vampires anymore. They always have to bust out werewolves, and magic, and super vampires, and shapeshifting. Also, is it just me, or does the guy on Dakota’s right already seem like an Andy Samberg parody of himself?
[Collider]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/danza-danzig-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/how-about-two-more-red-band-clips-for-this-is-the-end-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Bill-Murray-Alpha-House-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/pain-and-gain-clip-the-rock-sings-stryper-in-the-gun-store-150x150.jpg)
This is what happens when you put a Hot Topic next to London Fog at the outlet mall.
which avatar do you guys see?
I saw the 3D one, Stoney. Impressive visuals, but the story was still pretty shitty.
(the same one from this morning)
Man, the United Colors of Benetton have gotten lazy.
Where the fuck is Blade when you need him?
I can’t see anything on this site anymore, but ya, is mine still Pop-Tards?
These fucking douche queefs need to lay off of poor Edward for his slovenly appearance. It’s not like he can see himself in the mirror, right?
* Honestly doesn’t know. Can Twilight
vampiresfaggots see themselves in the mirror.** Honestly doesn’t care.
Yeah, Crappy, still Pop-Tards.
Also, is it just me, or does the guy on Dakota’s right already seem like an Andy Samberg parody of himself?
Dakota Fanning doesn’t have Force Powers, that guy just jizzed in his pants as he was walking away.
Wolfguin for me, crap. Am I baby-doll?
Stoney: I see what looks like my 10th grade history teacher.
Crappy: I see your tards.
Anybody else see this gum that I sat in? *pulls scrotum through open zipper with one hand, points to crotch with other*
UUUPRRROOOOXXXXXXSXCFDGSDJH!!!1!!!1122e2323
So nobody wants to talka bout the Old Gay-vy ad above, huh?
Her name bothers me because it is a place and a verb.
One turkey baster was harmed in the making of this movie :(
These fags are giving Vultures a bad name.
What the fuck? This is the worst gum commercial I’ve ever seen!
Tom Cruise is not going to watch this.
I’m wearing my Robpatt panties right now. He looks like he just got out of the shower.
Today is rPattz’s'z’s birthday so don’t be too mean to him.
I’m wearing mine too, Jirish. He looks like he’s the world’s messiest chili eater.
Rob doesn’t shower. He prefers the bath house.
Dakota Fanning’s character can use the force
I understand the final scene of the last movie is a dramatic battle between Frankenstein with Neo’s Matrix powers and a Na’vi with robotic arms called Do’octor Octopteryx.
I can’t get my Robpatt panties to go any higher than my knees.
I can’t keep my wife’s Taylor Lautner panties from trying to trim her bush.
He’s Mexican, isn’t he?
Mine looks like he took a cream pie to the face.
Jack, how do you know that?
1, 2, 3, 4 – ? There’s only 4 Volturi there. How do they form the giant robot?
Ass to mouth, Miz. Duh
My Robpatt panties are soaked. With tears.
I tried to make my RPatt panties more functional by cutting out a dick hole in the front. Now Rob looks like an elephant.
My Robpatt panties look like he just finished sucking the life blood from an unfortunate victim.
WHAT? I was eating a jelly donut! What am I supposed to do, get a napkin to wipe my hands? Eff that.
I played baseball in my Robpatt panties. Teehee! He looked like Jason Voorhies!
If Fek were here right now he’d tell us how much more epic this story could be if Dakota Fanning played HAZ for foppish dandies.
My Robpatt panties came with a strap-on.
I played basketball in my Robpatt panties. Teehee! He looked just like Kobe Bryant with those balls on his chin!
I forgot I was wearing mine, looked down and relexively punched myself in the dick. :(
My Robpatt panties have a little pocket in which to keep their Zyrtec.
The package my Robpanties came in had “Prepare Your Anus” one the back.
Ya, so, did anybody else lauge so hard an eyeball popped out at that prepare your anus post over at KSK?
My Robpatt panties keep placing themselves in my husband’s underwear drawer.
Robpatties have a built in butt plug.
The Volturi kill the vampires by hammering Dakota Fanning through their hearts.
FYI, e is the new h, and space.
Hooked on Phonics worked for DUUUUURRRRR!!!!!
[spaz fingers]
My Robpatt panties feel torn for a week out of every month.
My Robpatt panties broke out in hives. Wait, what?
My Robpatt panties came with a pack of fudge.
?
I hate how I always have to pull my Robpatt panties out of my ass.
Robpatt panties are only sold at beau-tiques along the Hershey Highway.
My Robpatt bra keeps biting my dirty pillows!
My Robpatt panties sparkle in the sun, but it’s just from the KY seeping from my ass.
My Robpatt panties always seem to fit tighter when I watch MMA fights.
Personal note: My mom is so proud of me.
My RobbPatt panties are nut-huggers.
It is impossible to grind on the dance floor wearing Robpanties. Wierd.
My Robbpatt panties look like he’s peeling from a sunburn rather than sparkling.
My Robpanties are always picking fights with my Scooby Doo underoos. WUWT?
On RobPatt breifs, the fly is right were his mouth is. Only time you have to pull a dick out of his mouth.
My Dakota panties are…
…nevermind.
Speaking of moms, I haven’t seen mine around here in quite a while…
My Robpatt panties are like his character. They just stand by themselves in the corner of my bedroom.
Banner pic:
Fanning; flamers.
No matter how I put them in my drawer, I always find my Robpatt panties ass up.
My Robpanties have that emo look not because of heartburn, but because I jacked it with a sock too hard and got dick burn.
I already got the jump on the marketers for the Eclipse edition of Robpatt Panties by taking a shit on his face.
Did you ever know that you’re my noooomoooo…
;)
Ima gaywad
Foppish Dandy Vampire Gang would be a good name for a buch of emo turd pushers.
In the middle of the night my Robpanties chewed a fetus out of my girlfriend’s womb. Good thing to, I was running out or RU-486 pills to sneak into her Cheerios.
Funny thing J, my Robpanties get tight when I watch Glee.
Robpatt panties can’t get skidmarks because they are always pushing your shit in.
Edward was disappointed when he reali(s)ed the Volturi had said they loved “hommus” and “dips”.
What a shit joke :(
I have RoboPanda panties, and they are sarcastic and tell me my butt looks big in them.
I don’t care if everyone on this earth hates the Twilight Saga, I love it!
Although the books surpass the movies in many ways, I just saw some great clips and pictures at [junebugreview.com] and it looks like it might just be the best one yet!
da fuck?
All I really want to know is if you’re related to Tico Torres. Even if he’s a distant relative.