Child actor and star of Diff’rent Strokes Gary Coleman passed away today at the age of 42 after complications from an intracranial hemorrhage. After showing signs of improvement and consciousness yesterday, Coleman slipped into a coma and was taken off life support today. Coleman’s acting gigs were few and far between over the past decade, with his most recent appearance being in something called Midgets vs. Mascots, and his last recognizable roles coming mostly as cameos as himself. Like most child actors, Coleman’s life was filled with embarrassing revelations and public humility. He’ll always be remembered for his TV catchphrase, “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” and I’ll always remember him for his cameo in Dirty Work, one of the most underappreciated comedies of the last 20 years.
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True story. I found Coleman sneaking around my house in the middle of the night in Tucson. Thought he was some kid trying to break in. Turns out he had a blind date and was looking for his date’s house. Ok, not that great of a story, but he was cooler than sh-t, despite the fact a 40 year old black kid was peering through my windows in the middle of the night.
That movie was underrated, just like G-Cole’s contribution to lazy pop-culture enthusiasts who spend all day at work reading blogs. May he rest in peace.
Nothing different about that stroke.
“Horatio! Gary Coleman passed away!”
“Looks like he’s finally six feet… under.”
Wha chu tawkin bout, Satan?
How on earth did Mrs. Garrett outlive them all? (Note: I presume Todd Bridges will die of grief)
Making a joke about the dead? That’s cole man. Just cole.
How the eff did Artie Lange outlive Gary Coleman?
The intracranial hemorrhage was caused by a horrible midget salad tossing incident.
Gary Coleman sacrificed his life so that Conrad Bain could live another 12 minutes.
Look on the bright side guys, now Coleman and Norm MacDonald will be reunited.
Wait, what?
Today, flags will not be flown at half-staff, but at 4 feet 8 inches off the ground.
Now him and Joe C can finish that fight to the death.
*pours out a little Old E*
*sung to the tune of “It’s so cold in the D”*
Gary Coleman’s D-E-D…
“It’s so cold in the D” had a tune?
Todd Bridges could not be reached for comment to find out what he’s talkin’ ’bout.
During a moment of silence for the fallen star, Webster could be heard having his last laugh.
Much like that dude he got into a knife fight with, his life was cut tragically short.
Hmmm…actually, it didn’t, Jack! Let’s try it again:
*”Sung” to the audible mind abomination “It’s So Cold In The D”*
(Oh, and shouldn’t we be calling him GC? The Mighty Feklahr understands he liked to keep things short…J, what are you doing here in the corner?)
Ever notice how after someone passes away you see them all the time? I just saw Gary Coleman in my wadded up used toilet paper.
Polanski raped it.
Gary Coleman was forced to have a intracranial hemorrhage because Conrad Bain already had a different stroke.
Somebody protect Webster! We only have one left!!!
Also
*cough*
I guess Willis was talking about a dirt nap.
Interracial hemorrhoid, intracranial hemorrhage, potatoe, potato.
He’ll be buried in a caskette.
“Child actor and star of Diff’rent Strokes Gary Coleman passed away today at the age of 42 after complications from an intracranial hemorrhage.”
You know how smart people (according to scientific consensus) read by looking at the first and last letters of any word? So… I thought that said he died from interracial marriage, and I was like, “I thought it was because he was short.”
Don’t blame me for my prejudices, racist black America!
TLC has already acquired rights to broadcast the funeral. God damn they love them some freaky midgets.
He lived a short life.
*fart noise, hangs self*
Whatchu Talkin’ ‘Bout, Eternity?
50 Cent getting his legs amputated so he can be Gary Coleman’s height for the upcoming biopic would be much more impressive than losing a couple pounds.
I will always remember him fondly from the movie Jimmy The Kid which played on HBO constantly when I was a kid.
How the eff did Todd Bridges outlive Coleman AND Plato?
This is what happens when you spend your life getting blasted point blank in the face with other people’s ass vapors.
Yesterday, I saw a dude playing a trumpet on a street corner, in his car. I swear to God.
Taller up.
They say celebrity deaths happen in 3′s, with Brittany Murphy gone, who’s gonne be the next 1 1/4?
Dikembe Motumbo.
[files.kruzen.com]
At least he no longer has to worry about cats trying to bury him in the sand when he goes to the beach.
@Moose – It’s funny cause he’s small and brown like a turd.
Indeed. He probably doesn’t smell very good by now either.
Gary Coleman, dead at 4’2″.
True story. I met Todd Bridges last year at an adventurecon event. Coleman was supposed to be at that same event. I offered Todd $50 to keep asking Coleman Whatchootalkinbout until Gary took a swing at him. Todd said he’d do it but Gary funking hated that catch phrase and he would get pissed off. Then he said Gary wouldn’t be there until tomorrow. So fuck me for going on a Friday.
Forgot to ask Todd if he banged Plato. I’m sure he did.
A life tragically cut… Short.
Actors of his caliber are in short supply.
Poor Gary, he’s finally lyin’ three feet under.
I rescind the ‘Life cut tragically short’ comment. It was already done, and I understand the bad taste in doing so.
They didn’t fuck about when it came to deciding to turn his life support off. Jesus, was it on a meter?
So, Coleman busted his nappy haid on a cinder block that was harder than his double skull and then had a different stroke of epic proportions. Oh well, I reckon Hollywood’s gone short on diminutive actors as of 28 May 2010. In other words, puts are on shorts like Gary, with a strike price of ZERO.