Mystery Men had the misfortune of being released in 1999, when the top box office comedies were Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Big Daddy. So a film like Mystery Men was polarizing, in that it was either too intelligent next to the comedy competition to be understood or it just flat out sucked. A case could be made for either. But lost in this epic argument is the cameo of FilmDrunk favorite Michael Bay, who plays a frat boy simply concerned with his brewskis. It’s pretty obvious that a performance this big means one thing – that’s really Mike Bay. He’s not playing a character. When he gets home from making movies, he still gets down to business. He cracks open a cold brewdog, pulls up a chair and watches Ali Lohan and Heidi Montag-Pratt wash his Aston Martin collection.
I’ve also included Bay’s cameo from Bad Boys 2. I can just imagine him developing this last second script change:
Bay: “OK bro bros, here’s what’s going down – I’m gonna role up in this gnarly whip, right? And people in the theater are gonna be like, WHOA! Bay-dog’s driving a bodacious turdmobile, what a comedy genius!”
Will Smith: “Aw hell naw!”
Bay: *makes explosion sound*



I heard they make Austin Martin’s in Aston, TX
You heard correctly.
Mystery Men had the misfortune of blowing 60 million on set design and (in retrospect) hairstyling.
Things I very much appreciate.
Yeah, but can we bring the KHeig/Boots catfight over here, where it’s probably more fitting?
Randi Mayhem Singer trolled harder and she could barely complete a sentence.
Catfight? I got $20 on Christina Hendricks’ titties.
Wassat? Oh, then can I just put the $20 on Christina Hendricks’ titties?
In closing, Christina Hendricks’ titties.
I refuse to refer to that walking Chernobyl fallout mutant as “Heidi Montag-Pratt”. The two-last-names-as-one distinction makes her sound, like, dignified
Dan Marino was forced to wash that car for the audition. Poor Dan. He used to have it all.
‘swi, personally I’d rather put my penis on Cristina Hendricks’ titties
Mystery Men is one of the few Ben Stiller movies I enjoy.
Michael Bay will happily admit that he’s a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
Michael Bay in college:
Put on this bikini and wash my Ferrari, pledge!
An entertainment roller coaster, these cameos have it all! What fans of cameos wouldn’t be thrilled to see a director who takes himself seriously playing such silly characters? You’d be a “Bad Boy” to “Mysteriously” not enjoy this….why do I sound like Fake Gene Shalit all of the sudden?!?
Well at least the entire plot of the movie doesn’t hinge on his character they way Shamalamadingdong has been doing it.
How are we not talking about Master of Disguise?
Because nobody saw that movie, MiZ.