First look at the villain in Thor
05.24.10While Captain America is almost certain to be mediocre thanks to Marvel hiring Joe Johnston to direct, I remain cautiously optimistic about Thor, which stars Chris “Cap’n Kirk’s Dad” Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, and Anthony Hopkins, and is set to be directed by Kenneth “I love Shakespeare” Branagh. Okay, maybe not cautiously optimistic. Cautiously confused, maybe. Anyhooter, LatinoReview was able to get their hands on this image of the villain, The Destroyer:
As per my source, THE DESTROYER is sent to earth by Loki to destroy Thor. It stands at about 9 feet tall.
The Destroyer is an enchanted suit of armor forged by Odin, and when it first appeared it was hinted that the Destroyer had been created as a weapon to face some dark menace from the stars. The Destroyer is used by Thor’s arch-foe Loki on several occasions, and each time has actually come close to killing Thor. [LatinoReview via MarvelousNews]
I hope by “dark menace from the stars” they mean Mudflap and Skids from Transformers 2. Now that they won’t be in Transformers 3, I was hoping maybe they’d show up in Thor, all playing dice on the corner and bringing down Asgard’s property values. Thor could come in and hit one of them in the horn with his hammer, and then the horn could play a rap song. “Baby Got Back”, say. That could be pretty funny. …Boy, this post sure went downhill in a hurry.
-Thanks to Andrew for the tip


Loki the Gozerian, Loki the Destructor, Loki the… wait, wrong movie.
Wow…kinda looks like the droid Luke WISHED he could get on Tatooine…
It was nice of Odin to create armor that practically begs somebody wielding a hammer to go nuts on top of a guy’s head like he’s a walking railroad spike.
Don’t mind me girl, just working out on my Powerslide Mat. Yeah, it’s good aerobics and it really works the inner thighs.
The Destroyer is the morning after $.50 taco/$1.00 beer night.
The Destroyer looks like he should be fighting the Power Rangers.
The Destroyer will make your butt really thor.
9′ tall? There’s no Chink in that armor.
That was really gay, thorry.
For the Destroyer, Power Rangers are $.50 taco/$1.00 beer night.
Dark Menace From the Star is a covered wagon at 3 in the morning.
Boy, it sure would be swell if I could nom eagle eye Donk’s Powerslide Mat. You betcha.
I would leave it in Natalie PortmanSomething something, shiny armor.Destroyer?!?! I don’t hardly know h… [An escaped pet chimpanzee gone berzerk runs into the room and eats Crappy's face and fingers]
I prefer suet of amour. That’s right. Baby’s got fatback.
I came close to killing my thor but it keeps coming back : (*
Can I borrow your chapstik? K thanks.
The enchanted suit of armor that Chodin made is more like a straw mankini.
WHERE ARE THE NIPPLES!??!/1//1?THREE?
Captain America won’t be mediocre if they involve a burrito.
His head looks like a can for a shitty energy drink. The Destroyer is mad that Thor killed his little brother.
How do you think his helmet got wings in the first place?
I bet his anus looks like a spittoon.
I’m surprised Latino Review got the first look; Mexicans are rarely first at anything.
Which one Påÿüł, Thor’s or the robot’s? Or both?
Well if my asshole was shaped like a spittoon, it would be thor, thailor.
Isn’t all amor enchanted and magical? [daydream face]
[/daydream face]
The Tour du Thor is when you go mouth to ass to mouth and save your load for his hair.
Mudflap and Skids are being replaced by Bo and Jangles. They got that racey insulty thing all figured out.
Well, time to go make some copies.*
[Puts on bowler hat, grabs walking cane and satchel, leaves]
*spend rest of workday leering at 22yo receptionist’s magnificent rack.
Don’t just leer, Crappy, get us some goddamn pics.
The Destroyer is that cabbage soup crap