macgyver-Bomb

MacGruber opens today, and despite it being based on a sketch that wasn’t that funny to begin with, they got one of The Lonely Island guys to direct, and made it a hard-R comedy, and now it seems like it might actually be funny (emphasis on might, I haven’t seen it yet).  Anyway, now seems like the perfect time for a movie about the real MacGyver, right?  (*fart sound*)

Make me a dismissive wank out of Bisquik and a coat hanger, THR.

New Line, which is developing the “MacGyver” movie, has tapped Jason Richman to pen the script. If hiring Richman is any indication, New Line plans to make “MacGyver” straight-faced but still keep it fun. The WME-repped writer did uncredited work on “Black Hawk Down” and “Rush Hour 3,” wrote the Chris Rock-Anthony Hopkins action comedy “Bad Company” and worked on a draft of “Beverly Hills Cop 4.”

MacGyver ran from 1985-1992, and Richard Dean Anderson is actually only 60, which is still young enough to be called “Baby Face” on The Expendables set.  Even so, I’m sure they’ll try to make it hip and urban and web 2.0 and cast a new lead, who instead of being a scientist, will probably be a BASE-jumping MMA fighter.  They should just cast Channing Tatum.  “Yo girl, that p*ssy is da bomb, and McGizzy be knowin bombs or whatever. All ya boy need is some fat beats an Alizé an’ I’mma get up in there, ya heard?  Hahaha, ah’m just playin’ witchoo, ya dumb beeyotch, I’m Audi five.  Holla back onna nigga blue toof.”