Sigourney Weaver and Polanski dwarves

Sigourney Weaver's avatar is 12-feet-tall

Don’t get me wrong, whenever I watch Life, I miss Sigourney Weaver’s Planet Earth voice over tremendously.  Oprah is a poor substitute.  Her pandering fauxlksyness (remember I invented that word) somehow comes through even when she’s reading sober lines about cuttlefish sex.   Nonetheless, when it comes to discussing the Oscars, Sigourney Weaver should probably just shut her whore mouth.

While promoting ‘Avatar’ in Brazil over the weekend, Sigourney Weaver slammed the Academy for voting for ‘The Hurt Locker’ and Kathryn Bigelow. She said Jim Cameron lost to his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, because she’s a woman.

“Jim didn’t have breasts, and I think that was the reason,” she told told Folha Online, a Brazilian news site. “He should have taken home that Oscar.”

“In the past, ‘Avatar’ would have won because they [Oscar voters] loved to hand out awards to big productions, like ‘Ben-Hur.’ Today it’s fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw,” Weaver said. [HuffPo]

He doesn’t have breasts? That must’ve been why he tried to compensate by growing lady hair. Look, Sigourney, I’m going to be nice because I get the feeling you didn’t see the Hurt Locker, so you probably don’t know how much better it is, and because you seem like you could kick my ass.  Yes, it used to be fashionable to hand out Best Picture awards to lavish productions, even if they weren’t that good from a storytelling standpoint.  But because it used to be in fashion and now it’s not, does that make it a better way of doing things?  I say no.  Think about it — this used to be a fashion too:

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the storytelling in Avatar is kind of like giant lip plates — clunky and impractical, despite how cool it looks.