DiannaAgron-TeresaPalmer

An artist's conception of what it might look like if these chicks almost touched boobs.

I can’t watch Glee, and it’s not because I’m homophobic — I still love Project Runway and have even watched Shear Genius once or twice — I just loathe campy musicals.  Nonetheless, for all you queerbaits who do love that show, Glee‘s Dianna Agron (left) has signed for I Am Number Four, the Michael Bay-produced, DJ Caruso-directed, aliens-in-high-school movie, based on the upcoming book by James Frey and Jobie Hughes. Here is the cast as it now stands, including (in bold) the two that I can report exclusively (TOLDJA TOLDJA TOLDJA! — sorry, bloggers are supposed to do that, right?).  And you know you can trust me because I reported the casting of the lead two weeks before the trades, and because my mom says when I sleep I have the face of an angel.

Alex Pettyfer – John/Number 4
Teresa Palmer – Number 6
Sharlto Copley – Henri (Number 4′s guardian and mentor who comes to Earth with him)
Kevin Durand – The Commander
Dianna Agron – Sarah (girl dating the head jock who falls for Number 4)
Callan McAuliffe – Sam (Number 4′s best friend)

From what I understand, John is the lead, the good alien who flees his planet, Lorien, from the Mogadorians, led by Kevin Durand’s character, who chased them to Earth.  I know, I know, it sounds pretty silly.  But then again, there were lots of aliens at my high school.  Mostly in my Spanish class.  And now that I think about it, they must’ve had super powers because it was almost as if they knew the material before it was even taught.