Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! This story may not be true, so we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee haw! Now who wants to get shot in the dark?
*roller skates up to curb, turns off flashing lights on Speedo*
Rumor patrol here, folks. Today’s possibly true news from an unnamed source comes from IESB, who say Sony execs are not pleased with the Seth Rogen-scripted, Michel Gondry-directed comedic take on The Green Hornet.
What we’re hearing is the Sony executives are displeased with the results. The tone is too campy [A campy Green Hornet movie? The dastard!], they’re not happy with the work from director Michel Gondry and Seth Rogen does not look the part. At all. In fact, the feeling at Sony is the movie is a disaster.
Wait, Seth Rogen doesn’t look the part of a super hero? If only they somehow could’ve seen this coming… Look, I know Michel Gondry’s movies since Eternal Sunshine haven’t been amazing, but the man painted me a tranny with a bottle in its butt for $20. Where I’m from, that counts for something. And keep in mind, these Sony execs who supposedly think the Green Hornet film is a disaster, they’re presumably the same people who thought Bounty Hunter and Did You Hear About the Morgans? looked like feel-good thrill rides.
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Execs have directed Gondry to cut the scene where he uses his Bat Shark-Repellant.
You know what I like about Seth Rogen?
Nothing. I LIKED YOU WHEN YOU WERE FAT!
I’m going out on a limb and say that a Green Hornet movie, even if it had Kate Beckinsale going ass to ass with Marissa Miller, would still be terrible.
Michel Gondry, on the other hand, could stick a bottle up my ass anytime.
I can taste the disaster. On my tongue.
But if this fails, nobody’s going to buy my script for a Dobie Gillis movie.
Rogen only took this part because he thought Green Hornet was just another name for weed.
This comes as no surprise.
*changes his name to Michel Gondry*
The Sony execs were pissed off that Bruce Lee seems to be missing from every scene.
Execs were displeased because it only had one nut shot and two record scratches during the entire movie.
This can be fixed. Just add in a bunch of scenes featuring gangrene stump fucking and call it “The Green Horny.”
*crosses fingers* I wish, I wish, I wish…
The Sony execs are just bitter that Gondry and Rogen rejected there idea of replacing Jay Chou with Jonah Hill for the role of Kato.
he drew that for you? I thought that was just a photo he took of Lady Gaga
Sony execs also thought Schindler’s List was too campy.
And here I thought Rogen was going to bring a high level of art to this. You know, like Frank Miller did with The Spirit.