I’ll be honest, folks, I’m pretty bored with all the mainstream film news going around at the moment. In honor of me trying to stay awake, here’s the trailer for the True Blood porn parody instead, Tru: A XXX Parody (starring Ashlynn Brooke, Gracie Glam, Linda Lane, Vanessa Naughty, Shay Sights, and Evan Stone, the cheesiest man in porn). Is it just me, or has the acting in porn come a long way? I’m pretty sure the black chick is a better actress than the black chick from the real True Blood. Still, you think they could’ve done something more with the “blood sucker” theme. Like, maybe it’s not blood these vampires need to survive. Wait, never mind, they already did that, it was called Cumpire. Dammit. That ruins my plans for a vampire porn AND a porn about umpires.
*puffs pipe, pouts*
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Ashlynn Brooke is in every one of these porn parodies.
Wait, are you talking about vampire umpire porn? I thought ‘Twilight’ established that vampire baseball is gay?
My umpire porn parody is called ‘Intentional Cock: Babes on Balls’
I also have a nastier one called ‘Hit by Bitch: Charge the Mound’.
Seriously though, out-acting Anna Paquin is like out-staying-still Michael J. Fox.
“Blood” and “porn” shouldn’t be in the same sentence. At least that’s what my Mom keeps telling me at our Thanksgiving dinners.
That ruins my plans for a vampire porn AND a porn about umpires.
I don’t think anyone’s made Refeweiner yet.
Lady vampires only become lespires because they’re hungry for tampons.
What if they did a Spaceballs parody called…um…Spaceballs?
Cheatsa the Slutt?
May the Schlong Be In Ya?
Something something yarmulke insertion?
My favorite porn parody is still Gordon & Myrtle’s 69th Anniversary. “Uncle” Bill really nailed Grandpa’s Upper-Peninsula accent and Mom really made me believe that Grandma loved Cleveland Steamers.
FEK-
Spunkballs
I’m down with the Spaceballs porn only if they get a wise midget to play Yogurt-Slinger.
If they are making parodies of HBO productions, can I request a parody of When the Levees Broke? I assume there are enough gushers in the adult entertainment business to achieve the desired effect.
“…is a better actress than the black chick from the real True Blood.”
The important revelation here is that it infers VaLince watches True Blood. While doing needle point wearing a lavendar snuggie I would assume.
Parodies by definition are funnier than their source material.
I guess what I mean to say is I hope it has a few heavy chicks and plenty of girl-girl action.
Einstien and Eddingtongue
Anna couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag, but she could act her way into a bag of dicks.
Cumpires call balls and dykes.
I’m waiting for the Japanese kid’s show parody “The Erect Trick Cumpany.”
Cumpires wear facial masks.
It would seem most cumpires are fucking blind or need some goddamned glasses.
If you anger a cumpire, he may ejact you.
Cumpires have large ball sacks.
First base cumpires only kiss.
Second base cumpires feel up everybody.
Third base cumpires are into oral.
Homebase cumpires get the fucking done.
I saw a vampire lesbian porn once. It was something of a period drama.