How the bible should've ended
Robocop is one of the few movies of which a modern remake could be awesome, and I’d much rather see Aronofsky’s take on this than that boring-ass Jackie Kennedy project he’s doing. However, MTV recently spoke to original Robocop director Paul Verhoeven (who went on to direct Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Showgirls, Starship Troopers, and Hollow Man), who seems to think a remake is a bad idea. Tell us why, you insane Dutchman, you:
How you do [a remake] now, you’d have to go into all of the digital world, and I’m not sure that would improve the soul of the movie, you know? The point of Robocop, of course, it is a Christ story. It is about a guy who gets crucified in the first 50 minutes, and then is resurrected in the next 50 minutes, and then is like the supercop of the world, but is also a Jesus figure as he walks over water at the end. Walking over water was in the steel factory in Pittsburgh, and there was water there, and I put something just underneath the water so he could walk over the water and say that wonderful line, “I am not arresting you anymore.” Meaning, I’m going to shoot you. And that is of course the American Jesus.
Interesting. I always just assumed Robocop was a cyborg Travis Bickle. But he’s actually a Christ figure. Who dies, gets resurrected, and then, instead of sacrificing himself for the sins of humanity, he levitates over a puddle in a steel factory and shoots a chick. You have to admit… That’s actually a way better story. If we got Verhoeven and Mel Gibson to collaborate on a sequel to Passion of the Christ, I would help finance it myself.
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That explains the original tagline: Robocop – Believe the Chai’p!
American Jesus turns water into Coors.
Wait, actually that’s the same thing…
Thank goodness he cleared up technical aspects of filming someone walking on water.
I think the Jackie Kennedy project is a Jesus metaphor as well. Jesus had ass cancer, right ? I’m pretty sure he did.
Robocop died for your sins and all he got was this lousy, matte black Taurus.
I’m sure that spike in his wrist he used to stab Red Foreman in the throat was a metaphor for the Lance of Longinus stabbing Jesus right?
The Devil drives a SUK 6000?
Ironic, seeing as most Detroit jobs now belong to Jesus.
Clarence Boddicker was Jewish?
Jesus always told me to come quietly or there will be… trouble.
American Jesus has gadges in his hands and feet to really accent the sacrifice he made for us.
Dead or ressurected you’re coming with me.
American Jesus is a HUGE Dale Sr. fan.
ED-209 was a metaphor for Jesus’s incompentent brother Bob.
“Robocop – how come, during my most difficult times, there was only one set of footprints in the sand?”
“It was high tide, and I’m made of metal, asshole…”
If we got Verhoeven and Mel Gibson to collaborate on a sequel to Passion of the Christ, I would help finance it myself.
Vance, I’m pretty sure that Hollywood filmmakers don’t use photos of cats and dogs in human clothing as currency the way you think they do.
Stop kidding around. RoboChrist died for your sins!
MExican Jesus doesn’t wear a crown of thorns, but he does lean against a big cactus for siesta.
If Jesus wielded a .50 cal Desert Eagle, Christmas would be AWESOME!
So does this mean Robocop 2 was really about the Mormons?
American Jesus eats his last supper at Applebee’s.
Mexican Jesus turns water oninto fertalizer.
Speaking of Dutchmen, Theo Van Gogh’s version would have pretty much started WWIII. So there’s that.
I’d buy that for 13 pieces of silver.
Bitches leave > Jesus wept
Mexican Jesus does police work for a special unit: Si, Ese–Ay
British RoboChrist will give you a good whack with a stick.
New York RoboCop has a retractable plunger hand.
Israeli RabbiCop would buy that, but can’t you do better than a dollar?
American Jesus baptizes you in toxic waste.
American Jesus has something about doves tattooed in Sanskrit on his lower back. It’s misspelled but looks wicked cool.
FilmFreakCentral did a review awhile back arguing that Robocop is a satire of the Reagan-era Republican concept of Jesus,and “maybe even a better examination of the theological conundrum of Christ’s time on Earth than Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ.” [filmfreakcentral.net]
Sorry I don’t have a dick joke or something, I just found it an interesting read!
“he levitates over a puddle in a steel factory and shoots a chick”
No he doesn’t, Clarence Boddicker is a man and the person in the crane cabin is a man too
There is a certain depth to the film that’s easily overlooked, the comedian guy who keeps appearing on tv saying “I’d buy that for a dollar”, the callous attitudes of the OCP guys towards everyone else, the ridiculousness of the advertising (sun-cream that can cause skin cancer as a side-effect)
It is very much a critique on US culture and not a very subtle one either