There’s a new trailer out for the Joe Carnahan-directed A-Team, and this one seems specially designed for the person who saw the first one and said, “Hmm, not ridiculous enough.” Besides more of the parachuting-a-tank-out-of-an-airplane-and-shooting-other-planes-with-it scene, we’ve also got:
- Liam Neeson as Hannibal pulling the old Shawshank Redemption trick… for a cigar. Just buy it at the commissary, show off.
- “I ain’t flyin on no planes!” is now “Oh hell naw. I ain’t steppin foot on any type a aircraft.” Well la di dah, looks like someone‘s dating an English major.
- Instead of BA saying “I pity the fool!’, he just has “PITY” and “FOOL” tattooed on his knuckles. …Right, because just saying the line would’ve been stupid.
- District 9‘s Sharlto Copley as Murdock tries to jump start a van with a defibrillator. About which Hannibal says “My kind of guy.” Aw, I love that electricity-ignorant f*ck.
- RAIL GRINDING DOWN A SKYSCRAPER, OOH WHA AH AH-AH!
- BASE jump to parachute snagged on the skids of passing helicopter. You know they planned that sh*t too.
As you all know, I grip it and rip it and live life with a lot of flair on a daily basis, but even I might have to keister a couple Red Bulls to get through this. Ooh, and I almost forgot: Brad Cooper shirtless. I knew there was a reason I had that vaseline out.
[available in HD at Apple]
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for those of us who were raised by the actual A-Team in between practicing my inexplicably badass GI-Joe battle choreography and eating cheese crackers, I have to say that I’d watch this piece of shit.
But don’t think I’m not going to make fun of it the whole time. Black people enunciating…HA.
and do they really need the “THERE’S NO PLAN B” banner at the end?
My brain’s still trying to figure out what the fuck happened 20 seconds ago when the tank was parachuting, then an air-conditioning unit drops on a van and someone makes a handicap parking joke?
This fucking trailer should come with 2 snorts of microwave meth, a sleeping whore with syphilis, and a goddamned flow-chart.
I had this awesome toy A-Team gun when I was a kid. It was an AK-47 that you could turn into a regular rifle, and then you could break it down into a handgun. To this day, that gun and possibly my GI Joe aircraft carrier are the reasons I love vagina.
I will see this movie and I will like it, sir.
if someone doesn’t walk slowly away from something that then explodes in the background, i will give Joe Carnahan a blumpkin.
also, reading Carnahan always makes me think of Callahan brake pads. Just sayin’
i love vagina because Lady Jane’s pussy always felt hard just like Bazooka’s buttcheeks. It kept me torn and confused as a child….or was it my older neighbor?
“Yeah…there’s a guarantee on the box….but all that means is that you’re buying a guaranteed piece of shit….”
A-Team always makes me think of Junior High basketball because I was on the B-team (white kids). Fuck you and your A-Team(black kids)Coach Fox.
Henry Czerny is the Bruce Greenwood of movies that don’t have Bruce Greenwood in them.
Shia Labeouf’s knuckle tats say PITY FOO. It’s okay, though, because it’s henna.
Wake me up when Carnahan tries a reboot of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I might get to see George Peppard’s actual corpse get sodomized.
You had me at shirtless Cradley Booper.
Eesh. “That’s so crazy, it just might work!” *lights bum cigar*
Boy, Murdock puts the fun in dysfunctional – am I right????
you mean there’s something in this post besides shirtless Bradley Cooper?
Murdock FTW. Also A team vs Night Owl. This guy keeps showing up in everything.
Just show me 90 minutes of the van driving through fences and getting shot up.