CAN WE SHOOT THIS FIVE YEARS AGO?
Just yesterday it was rumored that Marvel plans to bring adaptations of their “third-tier” characters to the big screen, with smaller budgets of $20-40 million. Today, the always accurate MTV UK (note: I have no idea whether MTV UK is accurate) brings the news, accompanied by a question mark in the headline, that Vanessa Hudgens is in talks to play Spider Woman. I’d never heard of that character because I’m not a huge nerd, but apparently it is one, and not just a nickname for my stepmom.
A movie insider [ooh, a movie insider, you say?] stated: “The idea is for this to be a fun, comedic movie and Vanessa is perfect for the title role,”
They added: “Spider Woman is strong and sexy but in this case hilarious.Vanessa is apparently very interested in the idea.”
Well sure, that sounds like something that’s plausible. Which is almost the same as news. But anyway, it is true that when I think “comedy”, I think “the 21-year-old girl from High School Musical who sent pictures of her P to Zac Efron.” I can’t imagine a more gifted comedienne, really. However, and this is a good rule of thumb, as a girl, your vag should never be hairier than your boyfriend’s chest.
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Two questions:
1. who drew that Spider-Girl?
2. Where does he keep his collection of history books with sticky pages of Buchenwald survivors?
Spider Woman is strong and sexy but in this case hilarious.
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger in ‘Kindergarten Cop’, except without needing the supporting cast to ratchet up the sexy to an acceptable level.
Is she more feminine than Tobey Maguire ?
No, it just looks like she is smuggling a tarantula in her panties.
*checks off “holocaust joke” and “child molestation reference”, sees “clown rape” as #3 on list*
Oh, I just don’t have the energy…
Spiderman (Of the Jersey Spidermans) got his power when bitten by a spider, Spidergirl got her powers when Spidey’s dick spit insider.
your vag should never be hairier than your boyfriend’s chest
I keep turning him down, but I guess I’ll need to accept the date invitation from Robin Williams.
You have to have a list for the shit you say everyday, Donk? What are you related to Sarah Palin?
Hell, her “boyfriend’ could be spider girl. I am sure he wants to kiss Tobey
Great, now I’m thinkin’ the old lady who swallowed the spider to catch the fly just had a mouth full of pubes the whole time.
You take that back, Eib!
They should just do this as an online series of webisodes.
Vinksters doesn’t lie, he isn’t a huge nerd, he’s actually quite dainty, but those thumbs are straight from a Tom Robbins novel.
She’s my spirit animal, Crappy.
Oh shit, I forgot to check off “racist bowling analogy” from earlier.
BINGO!
Whenever Spider Girl sees herself in a mirror, she screams and makes her boyfrield smack her with a newspaper.
She’s looking more like Gary Coleman in lipstick. And me likey!