I ordered a Chocolate Pattinson from a hooker once. …ONCE. (It’s when she sticks her finger up your butt, then uses it to draw bushy eyebrows on your face, then punches you in the stomach so you get that “young-actor-with-heartburn” look. Look it up, dude.).
Seriously though, this is supposed to look like Robert Pattinson? Who made that, the littlest chocolatier? It looks like Oscar Wilde with jizz in his hair (which was my nickname in high school).
This just seemed apt.
-Thanks to Robo and Jirish for the tips
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I just made an Edward Cullen bust out of chocolate then made out with it while my cats watched. FMLIT.
Banner pic: the stool of the world’s biggest (literally and figuratively) Twilight fan
I always wanted a chocolate Yahoo Serious.
“Oscar Wilde with jizz in his hair”, or as he is more commonly known, Oscar Wilde.
You’d think they could have at least used dark chocolate…
Now they just need a chocolate Schroeder to keep that on his piano.
In Soviet Russia, you bite vampire!
The irony here is that a girl who loves Pattinson enough to get one might lose the only one who actually loves her (her cat) if it eats a piece of this.
“How did you make his hair look like that?”
“Mousse!”
$240 Worth of Chocolate Pattinson, ahhhh yeahhh!
Package this with a vibrator and I think we’ve got a marketing winner
Looks more like James Spader to me:
[www.imdb.com]
No matter how hard they tried to make it solid, his head stayed hollow.
I’m going to spray some frosting all over this.
I always wanted a chocolate Yahoo Serious.
For now, you’ll have to settle for a chocolate Yoohoo… Serious.
Before he was known around the world as The Impaler, Vlad was an avid chocolatier.
It looks like Clay Aiken after his boyfriends unfortunate felching accident
Chocolate Pattinson Care Instructions:
Keep away from open flame and vaginas.
That’s just the beginning. Wait until she finishes the lower torso. I hear that it’s going to be packed with fudge.
It comes with a marshmallow pillow for biting.
Orders at Liberty just went WAY up.
The secret to crafting such lifelike hair is to use a piping bag with the douche nozzle.
Home Ec. will be a required course at the college, I presume?
Chocolate Pattinsons, now available along the Hershey Highway.
How much for one with an open mouth?
The blind bitch from the Lionel Richie video thinks this feels like shit.
Given the audience for this shit, white chocolate seems like kind of a no-brainer. A Chocolate Sidibe, on the other hand, costs $1000 and will be made by, and for, Sidibe.
They used this dude as the model:
[www.stripersonline.com]
I’ve always thought of Pattinson as more of a cream puff.
This chocolatier is also responsible for innumerable Twihard Creams.
Edward’s a phony vampire so I bet this is made of carob.
The chocolate Bella has the bottom lip bitten off.
Melts in your mouth, if you’re a man.
Not even Bill Murray would clean this out of a pool.
Pattinson thinks this needs nuts. In the mouth.
Chocolate Robert Pattinson prefers Almond Joy. He says he’s allergic to Mounds.
Isn’t this a little out of the spirit of all things Pattinson?
Rob doesn’t enjoy busts.
Taylor Lautner thinks this needs more peanut butter.
I stole this and held it for Spunk Ransom, but Robert wouldn’t pay up :(
Chocolate Robert Pattinson loves Three Musketeers.
All at once…
These are free as Pattinson loves to give head.
I showed this bust a Choco Taco and it screamed.
LIES!
New up!
Count Chocula is like, quit stepping on my dick, Twilight.